Mom-Fuzz

(Warning: Gross out factor ahead) So I have really long, really curly hair. Most of the time I keep it pinned up in a messy bun-thing or tied back in a pony-tail, but I have a seriously hard time finding hair-clips and elastics that don’t break immediately. I have resorted to making my own “scrunchie” things, because I can fill them with the really big elastic from the fabric store, and then they don’t break.

Anyway, what sounds like it might me pretty is actually a catastrophic mess most days. When I have the time and inclination, I can make it looks nice, like Goldy-Locks curls, 0r I can use an iron on it and make is shiny and sleek. The problem is, with either option, as soon as I walk outside, or in the bathroom, or in the kitchen if the dishwasher is on, the humidity makes it puff up like a bushel-sized fuzz ball. So generally, I don’t bother.

It also has a life of it’s own. After finding a long golden hair wound tightly around, er, somewhere south, my husband swears that my loose hairs crawl around the house at night. He has even accused me of putting them places as a joke, which I swear I have never done. My kids have now hopped on dad’s bandwagon, and bring me things that have “Mom-Fuzz” on them, things that have no reason to have any contact with my hair; tinker-toys, Eric’s binkies, toothbrushes, zippers, and assorted other toys. There is no way for me to claim they are not mine- the boys are shorn redheads, and DFM shaves his head bald…Hmmm “Not Mine!” doesn’t fly.

Now, any fuzz of any kind is “Mom-Fuzz”. The baby shows me some lint from the dryer, claiming it is mom-fuzz, there is a stray feather from down pillow, and it is mom-fuzz, anything and everything is mom-fuzz. It’s starting to gross me out, and I am thinking about cutting it all off. If I wouldn’t look like a shorn poodle, I really would. But when it’s short, it kinks up like a big brillo-pad, and even I have a little vanity left.

4 thoughts on “Mom-Fuzz

  1. I’m jealous. I have the straight, shiny hair that everybody thinks is so great, except that you can never ever do anything with it except– keep it straight and shiny. The only time I’ve ever had goldilock curls is when I was in a play and had to have ringlets, and my sister curled and sprayed my hair before the show. It took her 2 hours to get it to look curly, and even then, the curls were out by the time the show was over.

    For my updo for my wedding, my stylist told me not to wash my hair for 2 days, otherwise there was no way she would be able to get it to stay put. Straight and shiny also means very, very slippery!

  2. Oh, I wish I wish I wish for hair like that!! At least you always look neat- with curly hair, you always look unkempt and wild. Not a pretty picture!

    At one point, as a teenager I tried to barter one of my toes with God for straight hair. How sick is that?

    The grass is always greener, eh?

  3. I suppose you should just be happy it was YOUR hair that was discovered down south. I too have stick straight hair, but I keep it short because it does nothing, though it stands up pretty well. I know of a great stylist who is a curly hair specialist, but she’s in Alaska. I guess that wasn’t helpful at all, unless you’d like to move up North ;)

  4. don’t you dare touch your hair. your hair is perfect…perfectly tracy…and beautiful and one of a kind. its like a georgous physical manifestation of how wonderful you are inside. just to make you feel better…we used to tease my mom about her hair being in everything…and she couldn’t blame it on anyone else either…only red head in the house. it looks amazing up in a bun. love, chelseafish

  5. I have the same type of hair as heather o. My hair is straight, thin, wispy and flat. I wanted curly hair so bad when I was younger I got numerous perms. Thank heavens the early 90′s are no longer :). I shudder just thinking about it. I have finally come to grips with the fact that my hair will not change and I have to make the best of it.

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