Why now? Why oh why? Because I need more angst?? It’s a fair statement to say my life has the stability of the Titanic right now, so-why? Eric has decided he no longer needs a nap, and unless I want to give him a shot of cold medicine, there is nothing I can do to make him go to sleep.
There is little lovelier than a two year old, right around dinner time, who has not napped all day. Not that I cook much these days, but that 5 o’clock hour is brutal no matter what. Hey, fun! It’s meltdown time! Lets throw toys, bite our brother, hang on Mama’s off-kilter body! Hooray! Lets bang our head on the floor, run and hide under the bed where preggo Mama can’t reach and put our Binkie’s in the toilet. Let’s ask for something to eat, then throw it on the floor when we get it, lets pour our juice on the new carpet, and then roll in it! And the most fun of all, let’s stand in the middle of the room and just scream at the top of our lungs until our whole head turns red!
And I have SO much patience and reserve energy right now, I am making all the best choices in my mothering! I am kind and sympathetic and sensitive and soft-spoken with my little dear children. I never loose my cool, nor do I have to run to the bathroom and barf while reading a story to my little angels. I never get stuck on the floor, and have to crawl to the chair to gracefully pick myself up, while fending off children who wish to “ride” me. Voices are never raised in our home. Oh, no, never. Our home is a model of grace, patience and love right now.
It’s especially fun when Dad comes home from 13 hours at work, just in time to clean up poop or barf, start some laundry, and scrape up something for dinner. Hooray for a blissful home! Can you picture our Family Night tonight? They ought to put us on the cover of the Ensign; the perfect little LDS family; everyone would feel all good about themselves after they looked at us! Just call me inspiring! And you’re welcome!
(Uh-oh… here come the nice men in the white coats with my special jacket. Nice men. Nice…)
…they’re coming to take you away, ha ha, they’re coming to take you away, ho ho, hee hee, haw haw, to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and you’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats, cuz they’re coming to take you awaw!!!
Once again, you write a post that brings tears (caused by laughter – I know I’m going to hell) to my eyes. I’d snark it, but I just don’t have the heart to poke fun…
Good luck Tracy – you rock
Poor little guy.
It will get better. Just hang on.
Someone once told me that someday I’ll look back with fondness upon these early years. Oh REALLY? Maybe when I have alzheimer’s! Though they are filled with wonderful moments as I watch my family grow, they are also filled with more angst, sleep deprivation and illness than I care to remember most days!!!!
” Oh REALLY? Maybe when I have alzheimer’s!”
If I was drinking something, it would’ve come out my nose!! Pahaha!!
As for Eric, what better time than the present? Yes I’m totally kidding, please don’t beat me whenever you’re well enough to get off that couch…
‘unless I want to give him a shot of cold medicine’
I’m not a big fan of drugging children unnecessarily, but the occasional dose…..? Or you could let him roll around in juice – that’s a new one. My kids have never done that. Juice would not enter my house after that happened.
I hate the 5 o’clock witching hour, especially with no naps. It’s hell.
Just keep thinking, though, ‘every day I’m still pregnant means I don’t get a NICU baby’. Because even with all that’s going on, a NICU baby would be worse. So I hope you get to go early, but not TOO early.
No, it’s true……we’re pure.
unless I want to give him a shot of cold medicine
My kids just got jazzed whenever someone tried that. It made them hyperkinetic.
LOL at Alzheimers!
(something about typing that phrase feels very, very wrong)
Oh, dear Tracy. I am so sorry.
One time I went to Women’s Conference at BYU and they had a panel of mothers, just for humor, you’re-not-alone-in-this’s sake, sharing terrible parent stories. One mom was from Scotland, a cute little slip of a thing with red hair and a darling accent. She had 4 children, ages 2 1/2, 1 and 2 month old twins. She was by far the most harried mother of them all (by the audience’s standards) and someone asked her what she did when she was having the worst day of her life…and her answer was…
“I cry…(big pause)… and eat a candy bar.”
Whenever my life is the craps, I think about her and her solution to all things mommy, and it still cracks me up. It all boils down to chocolate, doesn’t it?
Oh. My. Gosh.
You are hilarious!
Ty for the giggle!