Utterly Fascinating

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Today is Bean’s birthday, but we spent yesterday at the County Fair to celebrate. Why? Well,  we had free passes for yesterday, and it would have cost us $32 to get in today. Yay for free passes!

It was hot. And the Fair was full of… “Fair” people. Oh man, is it fair for me to even say that? But dude, honestly, you know what you are thinking when I say “Fair people” and it’s not pretty. I spent half the afternoon trying to shield my kids from things, well, unfair. Oh, kids! Look over here at these newborn piggies- not at the barely dressed couple dry-humping by the camels. I’ll just let that one stand for what it is.

With a few diverting tactics on our part, the kids were oblivious to the seedy underbelly of the carnival, and they blew their entire Fair budget on the sling-shot thing that bungee’d them high into the sky. I think it was worth it- way better than the dirty ferris wheel. (Have Fairs always been so scungy?)

We looked at the 4H and Grange displays (cool) and walked through the event centers with the infomercial guys yelling at everyone as they passed (not cool). Beanie is coveting a Snuggie (what IS it with kids and those things?). Jeffrey thinks the Slap-Chop demo is the best invention EVER, and Abby wants stamps for her fingernails. Time to go look at the sheep kids!

The sheep were gone already. That’s what we get for waiting for the last three days of the Fair. The bunnies were gone too. Instead we got lots of chickens, enormous geese, some alpaca, a ton of cows and horses, baby pigs (for sale!) and, um, the aforementioned camels.

After the barn animals, the midway, the expo centers, the bungee jump and some salt water taffy, it was time to go. Waaaay past time to go. Which of course means both Beanie and Abby thought it was a great time to go all rubber-band noodle kid and liquify their bones while they turned on both the waterworks and the air-horns.

Nothing more fun that dragging three hot, tired, sugared up, crying kids through the Fair parking lot. The very big, very dusty, very hot, very stinky Fair parking lot. The car was a million degrees when we finally found it, and Bean was screaming this was the worst birthday EVER because we wouldn’t (pay $24 to) let them ride the dirty ferris wheel.

I wonder if some of my fun childhood memories were actually nightmares for my mom…

p.s. While at the grocery store last night at 11:30 to get “whipped spray creamy stuff” for Bean’s pancakes in the morning, (because of ongoing goal to ruin my kid’s birthday, right? yeah) they had the Snuggies in a display by the register. $19.95 at the Fair- $12 at Kroger.  Oh yeah. It’s wrapped and on the kitchen table right now. Becuase I love ruining my kids lives.

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5 thoughts on “Utterly Fascinating

  1. My 10 year old is getting a zebra print Snuggie for her birthday in a couple of weeks. It’s at the top of her list with a big star by it. Yeah, I don’t really get it either.

    Happy Birthday to Beanie.

  2. yes, please do educate the masses because I’m ignorant too. snuggie?

    you are too good at ruining your kids lives. why not make it complete by making them clean out the cat litter or do the dishes while you’re at it like me? it makes me feel like Dr. Evil. :)

  3. Hooray for free tickets and succeeding in giving Beanie the “worse birthday ever.” Someday he will appreciate it… hopefully.

    “I wonder if some of my fun childhood memories were actually nightmares for my mom…” That is a question I am going to ask my mom. I bet she says yes! I know I’ll answer affirmatively if my kids ever ask me. :)

  4. You know, the last few times I went to the fair I saw all the seediness too, and it seemed rather depressing. But remembering back to my childhood, that part just didn’t make any impression on me at all and what I saw instead was pure magic. The lights, the rides, the cotton candy, the games. We always came home with garish stuffed animals that were so marvelous and fun. Never mind that we spent twice as much winning them as they would cost to buy in a store. That didn’t seem to matter at all to us. Everything was just so delightful. I think maybe that’s true for our own kids too, or at least I hope it is. I hope I might be granted the eyes of a child to see it all with again as well. =) I bet your son will fondly remember this birthday always.

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