CRASH!

HOLY COW! You have NO idea what my weekend has been like. Criminy. My computer crashed Saturday morning. In the middle of creating invoices for all the new companies that picked me up in Houston. Super-crashed. Kaput. Kazam. I was updating, and then it went all crazy, and words and whonky noises started coming over the screen, and like any sane, right-brained woman, I panicked and hit the power strip. I’ll never know if that was the death knell of old Bessie, or if the deal was sealed before I took a flying leap for the plug. Either way, I lay on the smoldering pile of Dell remains, and promptly had an anxiety attack.

Did you know yelling and crying and pleading with your computer does NO GOOD? Seriously people, NO GOOD. Especially if it’s already gone on to the great silicon beyond.

So first, I cried. I went out in the garage to be alone, and I cried. Then, it started to sink in how utterly dependant on my little Bessie I have become. My two web-guys who are building my website live on the east-coast. I cannot even call them- we only email! The people who are hosting the website, in Arizona? Same thing. The techie guys are waiting on picture files from me for the website and- OH MY HELL! They are ALL in Bessie. MY PICTURES!

I cried some more. (But I did not, this time, throw a shoe at it, or kick it. I have matured.)

I cannot even TELL anyone that my computer crashed! Because I need a COMPUTER to tell everyone. OH. CRAP!!

My poor kids. Mama’s having a melt-down in the kitchen. My phone still works, right? Oh thank goodness! Ok, who can I call? What? What’s that kids? It’s time to go to the ice-cream social at church? ICE CREAM SOCIAL? What the heck is that? Can’t you see MAMA is melting down? OH, fine, get in the car, let’s go. The computer OBVIOUSLY isn’t going to do anything. I think my sarcasm was lost on Bessie, and the kids too, but it made me feel better.

While I was gone, a friend came over and tried to see what he could salvage. When I got back from the ICE CREAM SOCIAL (?), my friend met me in the garage, with the same look a surgeon has when he’s giving bad news in the waiting room. Hangdog look. I raised my eyebrows in a quizzical hopeful looks, to which he shrugged and shook his head. RIP Bessie.

I resort to texting. To be clear, I have an old Skool phone- it is so FAR from being a smart phone, I have to hit the number 7 button four times just to get an “S”. Oh. Yeah. So I text my web-master on the east coast to let him at least know I’ve invoked heroic measures on Bessie to try and salvage some of her organs. Hopefully, with some luck, I can get the photos’ out. What ever happened to good old photo-albums? Huh? That’s what I want to know.

After the ICE CREAM SOCIAL, I realized my kids also had a Halloween party to go to at 6. Forgot ALL about it in the middle of my Very Important Existential Crisis. Beanie and Abby already had their costumes, but I had exactly 45 minutes to make one for Jeffrey. And I did it too. In 45 mintues, I made him a linen tunic and a floor-length Jedi robe, as well as an Obi sash. I scrubbed some eyebrow powder on his face to give him a beard, and he was a passable Quai Gon Jin, Jedi Master. Only with red hair…

The kids went off to the party, I had two hours to cry over Bessie, and I managed to spend almost all the two hours with Comcast. It’s not Comcast’s fault, just so you know- Nothing, no matter what, is their fault, and they will spend two hours on the phone with you proving it. Just ask them.

It was a long, dark, cold night with no computer.

Anyway. Then the Primary Program was today. With kids all hepped up on Halloween candy from last night. It was awesome. I’ve never come so close to wanting to eat my daughter as I did today. The boys did fantastic, picking their noses on cue and making sure to wave in great giant flapping arcs, just in case I was looking elsewhere in chapel while they sand their little off-key hearts out. Meanwhile, Abby flopped around on the floor like a beached Bass, kicking me and everyone around her and talking loudly about the potty and poop, her two new favorite subjects,  right after Sweeeping Dooty and Snow White. Which, now that I think about that…

After church the big tech guy shows up, with a bag of tricks and a flashy things that boggle my mind. He even has a whole new computer with him, which is about 1/16 the size of Bessie, but he informs me has 216 times (216!) the memory of Bessie. Show off.

He left and came back. Twice. Through some magickmee-foo, he was able to coax all of my photographs, my invoices and all of my business files out and onto a teeeeeeeny-tiny little thing he called a thumb-drive. When I laughed at it, he said it had more memory than my whole computer. I’m getting that memory is a big deal with these tech guys…

So. He left me a computer here to use. It was one he said he built himself in about 30 minutes. Let me say that again. Dude built a computer in 30 minutes.  Like, from pieces, like I would throw together a dinner of leftovers. Or a quilt. Dude makes a computer. That, THAT boggles my mind. As easy as creative stuff is for me, the IDEA that dude MAKES computers for fun, and just can drop-off a spare one, HE MADE , while he attempts to recover more junk from Bessie’s carcass? Blows my mind.

Bessie is dead. Long live Bessie.

18 thoughts on “CRASH!

  1. If you lived here, big tech guy would have been my husband, who retrieves data and builds computers for fun (after telling you the 1,000 reasons you should just buy a Mac).

    I am glad you got your info back, and way to go on getting through the weekend!

  2. I’m tired just reading about your weekend. Are you atleast going to give bessie a proper goodbye with a bat? It might help relieve some frustration. Glad to know that you were able to retreive your info. I’ve totally been there and it is so very frustrating. And Yeah for computer dudes that build computers in their spare time.

  3. My computer crashed the week before Houston…it was such a shock…one little flicker and then total flat screen with no hope of resuscitation. It was only then that I realized how totally dependent I was on my computer – and of course I vowed to spend LESS time on it once it was replace…as if. I just read through a good bit of your blog – you are SO insanely talented…and you’re also in a hard place right now…so I want to give you an unnecessary pep talk…Heavenly Father gave you tremendous talent and he wants you to be happy…so do the math…talent + sharing of talent = happiness/money/happiness/more money. Stay focused and don’t let the every day crappola get you down, you’ve got “it” in spades! By the way, your kids are adorable…just looking at those faces is all the motivation you’ll ever need …so follow up on EVERY lead you got at Houston! Okay, that’s all I’ve got to say today but I’m watchin’ you girl! Can’t wait to see what’s next for you! xo, Nan

  4. I feel your pain! We have had 2 hard drives crash, and a mother board go bad…. not that I know what all that means except its bad… I’m glad you were able to get all of your photos!

  5. Nan! Thank you! I love that you commented here- and I’m loving reading your blog too.

    Some days I feel totally overwhelmed, but I know I can make this work. I keep hearing Yoda in my head “Do or do not… there is no try.” It’s become my new mantra.

    Em, don’t even breathe a word about c**s. That’s the last thing on earth I need right now.

    Thanks everyone for you encouragement and sympathy.

  6. I would have burst a blood vessel. How can…wha…you have FREAKING got to be kidding! And you got the kids to the ice cream social and the Halloween party and to church on Sunday! Merciful heavens, you are amazing.

    I am so glad that Mr. Computer Whiz was able to save your preciouses. So glad.

  7. So glad to read by the end things were working out…and I hope that things continue to look up! And so glad that you have a go-to guy that could retrieve your data and lend a computer. Amazing how needed that are now days. I would be lost with out mine…
    Technology is a blessing and curse…

  8. I’ve been lurking on your blog for months, but this is the first post that made me laugh out loud – the whole paragraph about the primary program could be a scene from my own life. Thanks for the laughs, glad you could salvage some stuff from Bessie :)

  9. You are impressed with his computer building skills, but I suspect that if he found out you made a Jedi costume in 45 minutes, he would think you are the genius!

  10. J-built computers are the norm around here. Your tech guy was a great description of him. And having a Mac item in this house is a mortal sin!! Buying Mike the iTouch was a huge issue :) That being said, next time you have a tech emergency, feel free to ring the house. He’d be more than happy to help!

    Glad you got a computer back. Don’t think of it as an addiction, think of it as your way to reduce your carbon footprint ;)

  11. Horror of horrors! I’d have cried for a long, loooooong time, too. I’m so glad you were able to retrieve what you needed and hopefully more. Stuff like that is so scary.

    Just FYI, this last year and a half we started backing up everything from on our computer on a remote server – it’s like magic. It’s called Carbonite and is about $50/year (I think) for as much space as you need and updates automatically as we add more files. So now, if anything happens to our computers we can still have our pictures, video, music, and personal records available. My dad told us about it. He’s a tech geek (designs and builds circuit boards for rocketships instead of building computers) and we all feel like $50 is a small price to pay for all our stuff.

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