Did you believe me for a second? Did you imagine exhuberance? Psyche. I’m so tired. (and oh boy, can you ever notice my lazy eye when I’m tired!) Three days ’till Christmas. Am I ready? Suuuuure. If you were to just look at my house, you might think so. The tree is sparkly, the halls are decked, the stocking have been hung by my eager, oh so eager, children. I tried to make toffee to give to some of the people I want to thank. It didn’t go so well- and it’s my own foolproof recipe. Goes to show who’s the fool. One batch I burned, one batch I never let get to the hard-ball stage and was insipid. I fed it to Oscar the Garbage Disposal. And cried.
So much for pretending things are normal. Don’t get me wrong- we have been richly blessed. I am blown away each day by the incredible and kind things my friends and family have done for me and my children. Hence the attempt at toffee. Alas.
Boxes have arrived from grandma and grandpa, and aunties and uncles, cards from grandparents, and friends, packages I can’t open yet because they are clearly marked as such. My kids will have no idea what our situation is come Christmas morning. And while I am not so blessed, I refuse to think about any of it until the holiday is over and I am faced with a day where I can actually DO something, rather than just think and torture myself.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow… Tomorrow I will have something happy to say. Tomorrow I will not be so tired, and not be weary and not be sad. Tomrrow… Tomorrow is another day. It’s Christmas Eve.