Valuable Enough

Yesterday, I applied to a University. I’ve been messing around with the Community College, which is what I did way back in the day, and a friend suggested I just skip that and go right to the source. It was oddly validating. Until now, I suppose I didn’t feel worthy of a University- I mean, I dropped out of community college 17 years ago, and I never finished art school. I was a slacker and a drop-out. And I self-identified as such. And I fear had I gone back to a CC, I would have continued to self-identify in a less-than promising way. Applying to University takes some hubris and self-esteem, which I didn’t realize until I did it. I am worth a University. I am. And it feels good.

I’m working on a FAFSA application right now, and trying to draw in my transcripts from the four winds. It’s been so long I don’t know if anything will even be useful, but a-gathering I will go. The University also has allowances for life-experience credits for women in my situation- which means I might be able to get credits just for what it took to get here. That’s a great unknown right now, but again, it gives me hope. Fragile, tentative hope, but hope nonetheless.

I am going to do this. I haven’t been so excited about something in a long time. I love school, I love being in school, I love the academic environment, and I love learning. The idea that I might, at this late start, qualify for the University is a huge feather in my cap.  I want my kids to see their mom work hard for something, to study and to succeed. I want them to see that I love my life, and value education. I want them to know I am brave, and that they can be too.

I am filled with hope today.

20 thoughts on “Valuable Enough

  1. Up here. Eastern. For now, sitting tight seems like the right option. Then, down the road, we’ll see what happens. I’m even thinking grad-school at some point. Aim high. :D

  2. Oh Tracy…you are unbelievable! Of course you are valuable for university and I can’t wait to see what new things you will accomplish. And what an amazing example you are for your kids. You will succeed and you will show them success, and learning, and the importance of education (I am so proud of you…coming from a former teacher!)
    Aim high is right, and it is all yours baby!
    Again, so, so proud! YAY!

  3. You rock Tracy! I love your outlook! You can do it and you will! I was at Eastern for a quarter or two and the counselors are very helpful and kind (especially in that one major that I was working toward but it was so important I can’t remember the name…)

  4. YAY for you. I started school last month for the first time in almost 15yrs. It was the scariest thing ever. But I’m loving it. It is so great to do something for me that will also improve my children’s life. Yesterday I took a math test and scored a 97% on it, something that 15 yrs ago I couldn’t do. I’m so excited for you, you can totally do a university, don’t sell your self short. Whatever school you go to will be blessed to have you there. What are you looking at going into?

  5. I am so proud of you! I too never finished and would LOVE to go back someday. You are my hero and I look up to you so much! You can do it and you will do it well! You are strong amazing, resiliant and oh, did I mention strong?

  6. Hey Tracy,
    I just wanted to de-lurk and tell you that you are inspiring others as well as your children. I’ve found myself in a similar situation, newly seperated and headed for divorce with 4 small kids. Your blog and your honesty has been a boon to me in a trying time. Congrats on your decision to go back to school! You are amazing! You will rock at University!

  7. I’m astounded that you have ever self-identified as anything other than remarkably bright and tenacious. But then again we frequently undervalue ourselves.

    You should make a portfolio of some of your best writing and artwork. You are brilliant in many ways, but you have physical proof of your brilliance in those two areas. Probably more, but those are the two areas that come to mind.

  8. Congratulations. I’m so happy that today is a day of hope. It’s so awesome that you have the courage to tackle this new journey. You’re strong and amazing!!

  9. 20 years from the day I had planned to graduate from BYU with a degree in MDT, I will be graduating from a university with a degree in Communicaiton Science and Disorders and then head off to grad school for a masters in Speech Language Pathology. Never in my life did I think I would ever major in anything in the health sciences, let alone grad school. It has been good for my kids to watch me work hard for my grades. This whole university thing has been a huge boost to my esteem, too.

    Good for you!

  10. You are valuable enough and smart enough and you will love it! I started college for the very first time at 36 , with 5 kids etc. etc. I made it thru and graduated in 4 yrs. You will be great at what you do! Dianne

  11. I think that is AWESOME!! I went back to school after my divorce also. It was a struggling time, but so worth it. I want to do graduate school– but the timing feels off, so I wait. One of my BFF’s went back to school at 40, graduate school at 45 and just got her masters last spring. I have never been more proud of anyone. Single mom, 3 kids, we got divorced and grew up (ha) together through court, paperwork and figuring it out.

    You go girl!

    • Susan, I’m going into Special Ed. I’m so excited- I LOVE to teach, and focusing on SpEd is just a no-brainer. It makes all the sense in the world. I can’t wait to be back in a classroom.

      • Tracy, I taught SpEd before we started our adventure moving around, country to country.
        Good luck! I loved it! It had its challenges, but I loved the work I did.

  12. I thought maybe you would say that.

    My sister-in-law has an autistic son and she went back to school for a masters in special ed (while her husband was in Iraq!), she now runs her own autism therapy business. If you want to talk to her I’ll send you her email address.

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