All my life I’ve been on the weight loss roller coaster. I’m not going to delve into why or what it may or may not mean, or the psychological reason or implications- because I don’t care anymore. I can’t do anything about any of it- all I have control of is what I do today. And today, instead of starving myself, bingeing, or eating cardboard fake food, I go to the gym.
I am not dieting. I refuse to ever diet again. If I want an ice cream, I am going to have an ice cream. And an amazing thing has happened- I don’t really care about ice cream anymore. I can take it or leave it. It’s not forbidden fruit, so the temptation is gone. Food is not my enemy anymore. That makes a big difference in how I see myself and my body.
I’ve always been a really good cook, and every time I “dieted” I felt like I had to give up a part of who I am. I don’t do that anymore either. I just try and cook healthier, using more natural ingredients. I laid down a few ground rules for my family. Food has to actually BE food. If we are at the market and the kids are clamoring for something, they have to read the label. If they can’t pronounce the ingredients, or do not recognize them as something eatible, we don’t get it. It makes it easy, and even Abby can tell the difference between “Milk, cream, eggs, sugar…” and “Hydrogenated anything, sodium casseinate, monosodium diphosphate…” It’s so simple, there are seldom any arguments or tantrums- even with Bean, who had to give up a couple of his favorite foods.
My gym time is written into the schedule each week, and if something comes up that conflicts, I try and reschedule. This has done something interesting to how I see myself. Suddenly, taking care of me is important- not just something I fit in after everyone else is taken care of. It’s a subtle but powerful shift in my perceptions.
I like looking better- I am not without vanity- but what I like even more is how strong I feel. My body doesn’t hurt anymore, and I can do things I thought were lost to me. The energy and reserves I have are substantial, and it’s amazing how quickly your body adapts and changes. My heart is more efficient, my body fat is lower, my lean muscle mass is much higher, and I even plowed through a weight-loss plateau without feeling like giving up (for more than a second).
So. I am doing this. If you want to, so can you. Small changes make a very big difference, and our bodies are actively waiting for us to give them what they need. It’s really cool how quickly and amazingly they respond, when we let them lose to do what they were meant to do.
*putting soap-box away now*