Costco Four Days Before Christmas

While the small natives spent today at our Home Teacher’s house swimming in an indoor pool while it was subzero and snowy outside, mama had Christmas errands to run. That’s the life, eh? You know what I did? I went to Costco. Learn from me… Costco four days before Christmas is a very, very, very bad idea. It started in the parking lot, where, overcome with the Christmas spirit, I waved an elderly lady into the parking spot I had been waiting on- then I looked for another 30 minutes to make up for my good deed. It was like the Santa Monica freeway at rush hour, with an upended cart of bananas and a circus train that derailed.

No carts to be had outside, and oh look! My card is gone! I sneak in through the out-door, and get in line for a new card. The picture will forever remind me of my annoyance, but at least it was relatively quick. Making my way to the entrance with my spanking new card in my mitt, there were still no carts… and then I did a bad thing. There was a cart over by the electronics… it was empty, but I suspect it was someone’s anyway. I slipped my bag and my Sigg bottle in the child seat nonchalantly and sidled away. I figure it equaled out with the parking spot gods- at least I hope so.

To make it more fun, every single aisle had vendors and samples being given out, so amid the chaos and cart jams were people milling around waiting for the L’il Smokies in barbecue sauce to be toothpicked and set out. The $600 blender guy was screaming into his microphone about the vital need to consume cabbage three times a day (really dude?) to prevent prostate cancer, and the fish guy was camped out right next to him with his tentacles and crustaceans. The smell of the fish mingled with the burning smell of the coffee roaster across the sea of picked-over toys, and I felt suddenly ill. A quick detour into the cold room cleared my head, and I remembered that I’m responsible for my famous Mexican Caesar salad to feed 30 on Christmas eve… better grab a dozen heads of Romaine.

I always take a detour through the books at Costco, but the cart-jam was so horrendous that I didn’t make it any further than the historical paperbacks. Almost tossed the biography of John Adams in my cart, but then remembered how limited my recreational reading time is… and put it reluctantly back. I did however grab a pair of jeans… Low-rise Levis for under $20? Yes please! I was being optimistic with my new running thing, and picked a pair two sizes down from my current pair. A girl can dream, right? Come on, who doesn’t have jeans in their closet that don’t fit? That’s what I thought.

For about four aisles some weird guy seemed to be following me. I swear I wasn’t imaging it- I would stop, and he would. I’d move, and he would. I turned, and he turned. Dude was starting to creep me out, when I finally turned around, looked right at him, and pulled my phone from my pocket ands started to dial. I was fake dialing, but he didn’t know that. He spun around and got lost in the mess of cart madness. That was weird. Probably nothing, but weird. Maybe weird stuff happens all the time but I’m usually so hung up looking for Bean on the ceiling or something that I don’t notice.

All the check-outs were open, so the lines, while long, went mercifully quickly. I contemplated getting a Costco dinner, but the cart-jam at the food court was of epic proportions, so I skipped it and cracked the jar of almonds I had bought. Hello, dinner.

At home, still a few minutes before I had to retrieve the monkeys, I held up and admired my new jeans. Hmmm… maybe I should just try them on, see if I could pull them over my butt? OH heck yeah, what is this… they went right on! Not only did they go on, they buttoned!!! Easily!! Oh hells yeah. Merry Christmas to me!

15 thoughts on “Costco Four Days Before Christmas

  1. Costco first thing when the door opens, or not at all. Although…….I think I’d wait hours for a pair of jeans 2 sizes smaller that magically fit.

    The big question is……

    How do those jeans look with your fab heels?

    PS – because of you, I now rock the smoky eye makeup. The YW in my ward suddenly think I am incredibly cool. :)

  2. Tracy, I spent hours reading your story. Your story is as interesting as a novel. I hope you are truly happy now. I started to read other blogs but the writing was just not as good as yours. I am gratified as I read of your testimony. I hope the coming year is your happiest ever

  3. 9 months is plenty of time to train. You probably only need 4, depending on what your distance is now. The most important thing is that you need to get up to running 3-4 miles comfortably. Once you’re there, you can stay at 3-4 miles a few times a week, then every Saturday (or whatever day you decide), just up your distance one mile per week until about 6 miles, then start upping the mileage every other week, so you’re running long runs twice a month until 11 miles (my first race, I trained to 11 and a half). So really, just focus on getting to 3 miles comfortably, and then you’re golden!! Seriously, I could geek out about this for a long time, so just call me sometime and we can chat.

    Another tip that I can’t emphasize enough: cross training, cross training, cross training. This last race, I had NO knee or hip issues because I spent a large amount of my workouts in the pool. 2 weeks ago, I did 5 miles without having been in the pool since November, and my knees felt it. So if you want to do this race injury free, you have to cross train.

    Like I said, call me !!!!

    • I’m not up to three miles yet- not even two without wanting to puke- but I figure if I work out a schedule, I should be fine. Also? Free trip to Disneyland is a big motivator! I’ll call you…

  4. Just focus on getting to 5K without wanting to puke. Then yes, put together a schedule. Running World have some schedules online, which is what Nate did for our last half. I just did my own schedule, with 2 days off for rest and then 5 days of the week working out. My first half I ran religiously 3 miles, 3 days a week, then a longer run every Saturday, and one day for cross training. But like I said, my knees weren’t happy, so this time I backed it off, and ran only 3 times a week–two short runs during the week, a long run on Saturday, and did 1 or 2 days of cross training. Also, don’t underestimate how much walking will help. Sometimes I would just powerwalk on the treadmill at fast pace on a steep incline. It really helped on the hills for the race, and gave me some extra muscle to help with the pounding on the knees (are you picking up a theme? Running is hard on the knees.) So right now, try to push yourself the distance to 3, even if you’re walking part of it, because walking totally counts :).

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