The new quarter starts tomorrow, and I’m trying very hard to take slow, measured breaths and not let the waves of panic overtake me. In the pre-dawn haze this morning, unable to go back to sleep, the to-do list grew (as it always does in the wee small hours) to monstrously looming proportions. The only thing in my power at such a ghastly hour on a Sunday morning was to grab a pen and paper and make a list. Somehow this always, at least somewhat, takes the damned demons down.
Stress does not do pretty things to human beings- yes, I know, Biology 101 says we need certain amounts of stress to function properly, but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and suggest the last five years were more a dumptruck load, rather than a delicate dance of tension and give.
So with the quarter starting, the one thing I’m committed to doing again is running. It’s the first thing I cut out, because hey, it’s just for my health, and it sucks, and I hate doing it- and it makes everything else bearable. Tire those muscles out, get the endorphins flooding, keep the stress in the sweat and make my sleep that of physical exhaustion rather than just emotional.
So in the next few weeks, when I have to take the GRE, the PRAXIS, and a math placement test for my final quarter so I can graduate, when I have to write the rest of my 150 page+ Senior Capstone and keep up on three classes and three kids- remind me, my bloggy friends, that I need to be running my ass off, not pulled my hair out.
One step at a time…in everything! One step at a time in running. One step at a time in your classes. One step at a time in all the test. One step at a time.
Sometimes they will be slow, purposeful steps.
And yes, sometimes you they will be fast, running your ass off steps.
Good luck in this next chapter…may it pass quickly and without too many pitfalls.
Love you!
I start tomorrow, too. I should start running too, just to make all the stress manageable. I was supposed to start the research for my thesis, but my children made me promise that I would spend the entire Christmas break with them and without a textbook or scholarly journal in my hand. Break was divine, but now I am more than a bit freaking out over everything that needs to be done before clinic starts next week. I haven’t bought textbooks yet…..
Keeping you in my prayers.
I do the same nighttime routine. I agree in the early morning hours and the only way I can slow the spinning in my mind, is to write it down. You are in the home stretch, and that seems Luke the hardest bit. You can do it because it has to be done and you will probably do it well because you are just that kind of person. But you will walk through this fire and it will add to your story and help you somehow. But it doesn’t mean it’s easy.
I wish I could take some of this off you. All I have to offer is prayers. And the occasional meal at Max’s. Love you and all you do b
I could not possibly prod you that way. It would turn me into such a hypocrite.
Run, Tracy, run! Save your beautiful hair!