My ultrasound was this morning. Most of my family wants this baby to be a girl, and Jeffrey is adamant he is having a sister from the moment I told him I was pregnant. This morning I sat down with him and carefully tried to explain that this baby might be another brother, and if it is, we will love him very much, to which he replied that he would only love a sister, and I could love a brother. And I know that my mom, although she would never admit it, felt the same way. It makes me oddly protective of the baby, because the only thing I truly care about is that it is healthy and whole.
To be really clear, there has not been a girl born in our family, including cousins and grandchildren, in almost 18 years. The odds are so stacked against this being a girl, it is unreal.
Everthing looks just fine, developementally. And, as carefully as I can put it, it does not appear that this baby has a penis. When the tech said that, I told her to listen very carefully, and told her about my family, then asked her to please re-check. Again, she said it did not appear that there was a penis anywhere on the baby. I made her take four different shots from four different angles, and I still am not convinced. Four crotch-shots are sitting here on my desk of my darling little baby, and I am still doubting it. Maybe when the baby comes out, and I can see for myself…
Personally, I am freaked out. I know boys, I have boys figured out, and I love having boys. A girl? What will I do with a girl? If it is in fact a girl. The whole mother/daughter thing kinda terrifies me. I don’t even like pink- actually, I despise pink- what kind of mother will I be to a girl?? Egad! What am I going to do?? – what do you do with girls? My dad said that she better be one tough cookie- which I think I could deal with, but what if she is a poofy-purple-maribou-girly-girl? Then there are all the things that go with girls- hormones, clothes, emotions, proms, boyfriends, weddings… I’m just not good at that stuff, and I don’t want to mess her up! Oh, man, I need to go barf.
Someone help me~! Advice, anyone?