Brotherly Love

My ultrasound was this morning. Most of my family wants this baby to be a girl, and Jeffrey is adamant he is having a sister from the moment I told him I was pregnant. This morning I sat down with him and carefully tried to explain that this baby might be another brother, and if it is, we will love him very much, to which he replied that he would only love a sister, and I could love a brother. And I know that my mom, although she would never admit it, felt the same way. It makes me oddly protective of the baby, because the only thing I truly care about is that it is healthy and whole.

To be really clear, there has not been a girl born in our family, including cousins and grandchildren, in almost 18 years. The odds are so stacked against this being a girl, it is unreal.

Everthing looks just fine, developementally. And, as carefully as I can put it, it does not appear that this baby has a penis. When the tech said that, I told her to listen very carefully, and told her about my family, then asked her to please re-check. Again, she said it did not appear that there was a penis anywhere on the baby. I made her take four different shots from four different angles, and I still am not convinced. Four crotch-shots are sitting here on my desk of my darling little baby, and I am still doubting it. Maybe when the baby comes out, and I can see for myself…

Personally, I am freaked out. I know boys, I have boys figured out, and I love having boys. A girl? What will I do with a girl? If it is in fact a girl. The whole mother/daughter thing kinda terrifies me. I don’t even like pink- actually, I despise pink- what kind of mother will I be to a girl?? Egad! What am I going to do?? – what do you do with girls? My dad said that she better be one tough cookie- which I think I could deal with, but what if she is a poofy-purple-maribou-girly-girl? Then there are all the things that go with girls- hormones, clothes, emotions, proms, boyfriends, weddings… I’m just not good at that stuff, and I don’t want to mess her up! Oh, man, I need to go barf.

Someone help me~! Advice, anyone?

14 thoughts on “Brotherly Love

  1. Oh Yippy- A girl!!! Er, I mean a healthy baby that MAY be a girl. I felt the same way when I found out I was having a daughter. My first is a boy, and I know how to handle boys. Then my second was a girl and I thought, huh?! what do I do with her?

    She is 11mo. old now and the only difference I’ve noticed thus far is that she is a little more sensative to things that her brother. I am sure the teenage years will be ugly, but at least I get to figure it out with my son first so I’ll have a bit more expeirence when its her turn!

    About Pink…well I always said I wasn’t much of a pink person, but I surprised myself when I looked into her nrewborn closet and realized it was almost all PINK!!! She looked adoraable and sweet, I draw the line at bows though. My daughter does NOT wear hair bows or ribbons or those ugly scrunchy things that go all the way around their heads! I think you ( and I) can raise wonderful daughters that do not need to be smothered by barbie or other girly toys. Will I let her have a barbie, yes, will I buy her every barbie accesory known to man- heck no!
    Yippy…If I knew where you were I’d send you a non pink girly item!

  2. The whole bow-thing that goes around the head is totally bizarre to me! There is even a mom in our ward that GLUED bows to her gilrs head- GROSS! Over my dead body will my little girl wear bows stuck to head!

  3. I am very excited for you! I will be the one to look for a cabbage patch with her name. I have been looking for some twins I know and haven’t found any, but, I found one with my name! (only with 1 N) I bought it anyway! Congrats and I am off to buy girly clothes for you!:) AEM

  4. Ok – GIRLS. Just in case, you know, this baby really doesn’t have a penis when it comes out.

    Just say no to head bow things, which you think you’re doing now, but wait until the baby is born and she’s bald, and people tell you what a lovely little boy you have. Does not matter what she is wearing. She could be head to toe in pink. People will think she’s a boy if there’s not a bow on her head. That’s OK. Let people think that. I’m convinced those brain squisher bows really do cause brain damage.

    I hate pink as well. Does not matter. You will love pink on her, because pink on newborns is just too stinkin cute, and everybody will give you pink because that seems to be the main color of choice for newborn girl clothes. And you will like it! (If you don’t, that’s OK, I guess.:) Because pink is for BABIES! I am not, nor have I ever been a pink person, but with my daughters, pink is in the closet. It’s almost entirely unavoidable.

    The main difference I see in my girls and boy (so far – they’re still fairly young) is that the girls are a little more sensitive, and they tend to engage in quieter play. They like to color for long stretches of time. They like to put toys to bed and dress them in various clothing.

    One time we were at a Chinese restaurant with a lot of cousins, and all the girls turned the chopsticks into people (“Hello. How are you?”) and the boys turned the chopsticks into swords. (“DIE! AAAARRGH!”)

    But your girl will be your girl, and you will know what to do and love her. It sounds like she will be spoiled rotten by all the grandparents and aunts and uncles dying for a girl. Let them buy her the froo-froo girly stuff. They totally will take care of that for you. You just keep her supplied with the balls and the cars. She’ll be just fine.

  5. How exciting! A Maybe Girl!

    Seriously, with the bow thing? Your baby girl might be in the frilliest dress you could ever imagine for her, and half-blind elderly people will come up to you at church and say “What a handsome little boy! What’s his name?” You so want to tell them, “Maybe baby boys were put in dresses when YOU were young, but we’ve evolved past that. HER name is ________ ” I never did say the first part, but I would always say “HER name is ________” and they would squint at DD and look a little closer, “OH! She’s a girl!” Yup, sure ‘nough. As if the lace tights and little white shoes weren’t enough of a hint????

    You’ll love a little girl just as much as you love your boys. You won’t be able to avoid the pink, though, even if you never buy her a pink outfit.I took great care to ensure that the clothes I bought in the 2T size (my DD’s current size) contained no pink. However, my MIL just bought a raft of clothes for DD for Christmas. I took them to the closet and hung them up; went to close the closet, and LOOK AT ALL THAT PINK! WHERE THE HECK DID THAT COME FROM?

    It’s unavoidable. Enjoy!

  6. Tracy,

    i’m so happy that your baby is healthy! and as for the girl thing…you know…girls aren’t the only sex that have an overdose of hormones during adolescence…or have issues with clothes, and girlfriends, and weddings etc…can’t boys be just as complicated? she will love you so much…she will love you for all the same reasons that your boys love you. you are wonderful, beautiful, creative mommy.

    love, chelsea

  7. I hated pink. I still hate pink. It looked adorable on my baby girl, though. She was so rosy and it just made her skin glow.

    Her favorite color, of course, is pink. Everything she has, from her shoes to her eyeglasses–pink. She’s 14.

    Girls are moodier. But they’re less competitive. It can be harder for girls to make friends, because other girls are so clique-y. But there’s nothing like having a daughter!

  8. I love my baby girl to death! She just turned 1. At first I didnt’ know what I was going to do with a girl either, but she is so fun!

    She does wear pink, but not everything in her closet is pink. There is hope! Also stick to your guns about the brain band. I HATE those! Rachel never wore one even though they came with some outfits. Flat out refused! I just had to be the person who said she was a girl and let the person who thought she was a boy feel bad. Oh well…life goes on. (I am amazed at how utterly oblivious some people are about what little babies are wearing though.)

  9. I was very anti pink when my oldest was born. I had clothes that had primary colors, yellows and greens, etc. Her first frilly dress was purple. Somewhere along the way she decided that pink was her favorite color. I had a daughter that went through most of high school wearing pink. Pink everywhere. Sometimes it just doesn’t matter what you do!

    Congratulations on a Maybe girl!

    You will be fine. Girls are different, but just as wonderful as boys. And speaking from experience, my teenage girls have not been as trying as my teenage boy!

  10. Congratulations on the wild redheaded girl. I hope she is just like her mama, and I mean that in a good way!

  11. Brain band?! Loves it, Bwahaha!!
    Wow, congrats! Good to hear that mother and baby are doing well.
    I have an inkling of how you feel. My Jeffrey (he’s 3) has been begging me for a sister for a while now. Thank heavens we’re finished, because I think a girl would freak me out, especially after helping out at girls camp!!
    But I thought kids as a whole would kill me, so I suppose I could be wrong 😉
    P.S. My mom used toothpaste for my bow, since I was bald until I was 2.

  12. Hi, I just found your blog. I have two daughters, and I feel exactly the opposite as you. What would I do with a boy! I have a niece who has three boys and all she wants is a girl, and all I seem to get is girls, but I only have two and I’m still young. I’m sure you’ll learn and adjust. My bishop says that they come to us and pretty much are who they’re going to be, but we just help them along the way. So if you do have a prissy girl, you’ll love her anyways, but if you don’t thank Heavenly Father.

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