30 Minute Meals, My @#%&

We watch the Food Network. A lot. In fact, Jeffrey’s favorite show is “Unwrapped” and he comes running when he hears the music. I think it has something to do with all the machines they show in action. But I have a bone to pick with most shows- actually with the hosts of the shows.

Have you ever noticed how often one of them will say, as they are making some fantastic looking dish, that “the kids will love this!” and I look around and wonder “what?” whose kids? Not mine that’s for sure, unless it is chicken fingers, peanut butter toast or french fries, forget it! Homemade ketchup? Are you kidding? Mayonnaise? Unless they say Heinz or Best Foods, no one my house, besides me, will eat it. Parsley and rosemary may taste great to grown ups, but my kids will use tweezers to methodically pick every speck of suspicious green before something enters their mouths. And having a fantastic meal really ready in 30 minutes? Oh puh-leeeze!

So I have a proposal for Rachel Ray, or any other chef at the Food Network. I want a real, honest to goodness “30 minute meals” type show. I want a real mom in the kitchen, with no one helping with prep or clean up. There should be kids all over the place, playing around her feet (nothing too dangerous, but real reality) as she tries to cook a fabulous meal. I want a clock on the wall, and if the baby falls and starts bawling, and the toddler takes off his diapers himself, the cameras can’t cut or edit anything. The phone should ring, her husband should call and be late, the UPS man might show up with a big box, or maybe the dog will eat the food off the counter while she is tending the baby. When things burn because she is distracted, oh well. And when, sweat drenched and covered in spit-up, with a baby on her hip, she finally slams the meal down on the table and the kids all turn their noses up, well then we have a show, folks! And if she doesn’t get the meal done in 30 minutes? Oh well, times up, shows over. See you tomorrow!

That, my friends, is a show I would watch. That is reality TV!

4 thoughts on “30 Minute Meals, My @#%&

  1. That would be an awesome show! I would actually get cable if they had a show like that! Luckily my baby is still young enough to LOVE Baby Einstein. So when I’m ready to fix dinner I throw a movie in and usually have most of the prep done by the time the little caterpillar crawls across the screen at the end.

  2. That show plays at my house every night!! (well, every night that I try to cook dinner!)

    I have a friend who’s children will eat Indian food, Thai food, etc. Their favorite dish is Pesto Lasagne w/ Bechamel sauce. Not fair. It does seem like a waste to cook great stuff when no one but me will eat it.

    LOVED THIS POST. It made me laugh because it is so true.


    BTW, I don’t remember how I found your blog. I am sure it was from some other link…but I have lurked for awhile.

  3. You should become the next food network star! I watch Rachel and Giada and cook for J and I and make the kids something different if I know they won’t eat it. (especially anything green) I love their shows and love their food. AEM

  4. we have “home on the range” down here where some old fart who lives in newport or huntington beach films the show in his garage with a live audience. he is “assisted” (read: she stirs – and not too well, i might add) by some blonde bimbo chick with added on hood orniments and tats. she reads e-mails to the show as he screws up reduculously simple recepies in 30 minutes and the food usually looks like c**p. try googling the show.

    love, —t

  5. I totally agree with you 100%. I have to laugh at her “30 minute meals”, where she just “happens” to have leftover mashed potatoes perfectly ready, or ‘let’s see what’s in my fridge’ hmmm….oh! Look! Pre-chopped everything! How helpful!

    My favorite show is Iron Chef America. Rachael Ray gives me the creeps.

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