We watch the Food Network. A lot. In fact, Jeffrey’s favorite show is “Unwrapped” and he comes running when he hears the music. I think it has something to do with all the machines they show in action. But I have a bone to pick with most shows- actually with the hosts of the shows.
Have you ever noticed how often one of them will say, as they are making some fantastic looking dish, that “the kids will love this!” and I look around and wonder “what?” whose kids? Not mine that’s for sure, unless it is chicken fingers, peanut butter toast or french fries, forget it! Homemade ketchup? Are you kidding? Mayonnaise? Unless they say Heinz or Best Foods, no one my house, besides me, will eat it. Parsley and rosemary may taste great to grown ups, but my kids will use tweezers to methodically pick every speck of suspicious green before something enters their mouths. And having a fantastic meal really ready in 30 minutes? Oh puh-leeeze!
So I have a proposal for Rachel Ray, or any other chef at the Food Network. I want a real, honest to goodness “30 minute meals” type show. I want a real mom in the kitchen, with no one helping with prep or clean up. There should be kids all over the place, playing around her feet (nothing too dangerous, but real reality) as she tries to cook a fabulous meal. I want a clock on the wall, and if the baby falls and starts bawling, and the toddler takes off his diapers himself, the cameras can’t cut or edit anything. The phone should ring, her husband should call and be late, the UPS man might show up with a big box, or maybe the dog will eat the food off the counter while she is tending the baby. When things burn because she is distracted, oh well. And when, sweat drenched and covered in spit-up, with a baby on her hip, she finally slams the meal down on the table and the kids all turn their noses up, well then we have a show, folks! And if she doesn’t get the meal done in 30 minutes? Oh well, times up, shows over. See you tomorrow!
That, my friends, is a show I would watch. That is reality TV!