Newsflash! Pregnancy From Hell Adds Cruel Joke to Accolades

Sitting on my desk is a print-out from a baby and contraction monitoring thing. You’ve seen them. This one is over nine hours long, with contractions in the 2-3 minute range for most of it. It’s mine. From last night. And I’m still pregnant.

Oh, yes, people. Just when I think it can’t get any worse, *BAM!* smack down! Yesterday my contractions had been irregular but noticeable, all day. Around 5 p.m., we started timing them- and they were about 5 minutes apart. Being a veteran mom, I knew better than to run off to the hospital yet- so I waited. At about 8:30, still regular and getting stronger, I called my doctor- and he said to go in to get checked. But no, I still waited. I wanted to be darn sure if I went in, it was the real thing. I waited until 10:30, with more than five hours of timeable contractions, when they were coming closer and much stronger, before I told the DH “Hey, maybe we should go”. DH’s auntie comes over, kids stay asleep, we head off to the hospital.

At 11, we are checked into our room, hooked to the monitor and having some serious pain. In the consideration of TMI, several other things were also pointing us towards ‘this is the real thing’ including the mucus-plug thingy surprising me (grooooossssss) and diarrhea with the crazy strong contraction. Oh, and of course, since it is me, more vomiting. TMI over.

At 2 a.m, the contractions were just over 2 minutes apart, and were hard enough that I couldn’t talk or move through them anymore. Nurse comes in to check me again, and if you can believe this, I have made no progress. Whatsoever. None. Still dilated to exactly where I was.

Nice Nurse suggests she unhook the monitors for a while and give me something to help me sleep. I’m not wild about the idea, how ’bout we get the baby out instead? But no, she insists sleep is a good idea, and I capitulate. From 2:30 to 5:30, I lay in a semi-sleepy state, and whatever she gave me made me dopey, and took the edge off the contractions, but they were still big enough to keep me from falling asleep. Now I have been up all night, too.

At 6 a.m., she checks me again. No change. I start to cry. Lets hook the monitors back up and see what’s happening. Shifts change, Nice Nurse leaves. I am exhausted, in pain, and they are talking about sending me home if things don’t get moving. This makes me cry more. How, I wonder aloud, was my last baby two days old by now, but you wont help things get rolling with this one? I get lame excuses and am told my doctor is on vacation all week, and the on-call will come see me and explain things.

At 8 a.m. guess who walks in? The Drug Nazi! And it just keeps getting better. She tries to explain to me, through the gagging cloud of her perfume, that “Dear, there is a difference between real contractions and braxton hicks…” I glare daggers at her. “DUH! DO you think this is my first baby? DO YOU THINK I DON”T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?? Why do you think I stayed home for FIVE hours? THESE babies have been BIG! THESE babies have not been BRAXTON HICKS- I KNOW WHAT A REAL CONTRACTION FEELS LIKE!!!” It was pretty.

She says that she sees she isn’t helping me ( maybe the fact that I was looking at the wall instead of acknowledging her in any way was a clue?) and that we should go home, and come back when it’s the real thing. Incredulously I gape at her- “What exactly shall I look for to know it’s the real thing? Contractions strong and close together? Check! Contractions sustained over a period of hours? Check! Loosing of mucus and bloody show? Check! Emptying of bowels? Check! Uh, what, exactly, should I look for instead of what I did? AND WHY CAN”T I HAVE THIS BABY NOW???

She looks at me like I am a big ugly bug, and offers to send me home with some sedatives to help me sleep. ARE YOU NUTS? I have a 2 and 4 year old! I don’t need narcotics- I need this pregnancy to be over, and I completely DO NOT understand why it is not. Eric was two days old now, and my labor was not as long nor the contractions as big as last night, and my water was broken and the pit started. Bingo, out came baby.

So at 8:30, we clean up, get dressed and leave. I have not eaten since yesterday afternoon, and am hungry, so we stop in the cafeteria (for some reason, I like hospital cafeterias). My breakfast is yummy, but half way through, I realize it’s not going to stay down- and I don’t want to loose it in the middle of the dining room and ruin other peoples’ breakfasts… I run (waddle- still contracting, about 5 min. apart, now) to the hallway with my hands over my mouth. There is nowhere, but there is the window where people put their used dishes and trays- and I grab a used tray full of dirty dishes and loose my cookies. And I have a contraction at the same time. And I pee myself. So I stand in the hallway of the hospital, cramping stomach, cramping uterus, pee running down my legs into my socks, and tears running down my face. The cafeteria lady looks at my DH and asks if we need a wheelchair to help getting to Labor and Delivery. The irony… ah, the irony.

So, here I sit. Boing…boing…boing… Having contractions about every 5 minutes. They are not bombers, and I can mostly function with them. But what do I do next? What do I look for? When do I go back and not have another nightmare, but a baby? I’m thinking right about as the head is crowning. I’m going to go upstairs, lay back down, and cry some more. How much can one woman take?

21 thoughts on “Newsflash! Pregnancy From Hell Adds Cruel Joke to Accolades

  1. They so need to get you going!! And the Drug Nazi should take her vacation while you’re there so you don’t even have to see her walk by your door at any time during your stay. I’m so sad they wouldn’t help you get going last night.

  2. AAARRRGGGHH!! Your doctor is on vacation? Did you talk to him while he was on vacation? You know that’s the real reason they didn’t start the pit. He wasn’t there, and nobody wanted to deal with a high(er) risk pregnancy like yours except him. Plus, with you being early, even though not incredibly so, they won’t do it either.

    I guarantee you that the reason you are sitting home right now in tears of frustration instead of at the hospital in tears of joy is because of one thing – money.

    Hospital policy, insurance codes, call it what you will, it’s all tied back to a dollar somehow. No inductions before 39 weeks! (insurance policy – statistically, less baby complications if inductions are later – so screw the people that really need it) That’s why they didn’t start the pit, break the water, and get the baby out. Because you’re not 39 weeks.

    I wish you could get your doc back on the phone, get him to kick some tail at that hospital, and get an epi and a pit drip! I don’t know if he’ll do it, or if it’s even possible, but I am so ANGRY at this whole situation!!!!

    Seriously, adherence to policy, not dealing with patient care, is why you are home.

    OTOH, you don’t want to deliver with that Drug Nazi anywhere near you. I wish you had thrown up on her. I bet Maybe hates her too, that’s why she refused to come out with that chick anywhere near the vicinity.

  3. Tracy, I am so sorry. You and Maybe and the whole family are on our prayer list. I can’t believe your doctor is on vacation this week. I completely agree with the Wiz – this sounds like policy and the dollar. URGH!

  4. I uber-second the Wiz! And will I ever be praying for you! Would you rather have the baby come now and deal with the Drug Nazi again or wait for your real doctor? When does your real doctor get back anyway?

  5. Of all weeks for my doctor to go see his mother… I know this is why I am home right now, too. There is 100% nothing I can do about it, and beleive me, the frustration is monsterous. He left this morning, and won’t be back until next Monday. I spoke to him yesterday, and he is who told me to go in- but he was no longer the on-call post-midnight. The guy is entitiled to a life, but why this week of all weeks???!

    Wiz is totally right- it was a liability thing and money thing- and I have never felt so helpless. I kept trying to explain how my other kids went the same way, and if they would just give me a little boost, the baby would be out in a matter of minutes. My body was trying really hard, but that’s how all three of my labors have gone. Stall, stall, stall, pit, bingo- baby. But I’m just a stupid hysterical woman, what do I know?

    Thanks for all the support and prayers- our family definately needs it right now. I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to make it through the week. Some phone calls are in order, but I just don’t want to explain or talk to anyone right now. I want to curl up in a ball, make it stop hurting, and go away.

  6. Tracey,

    I went away for a week and thought for sure I was going to see the headline “Maybe is a sure thing!”.

    SO SO SO SORRY. Hang in there……how much longer can it be, right? Good luck!

  7. Tracy, I’m so worried about you. I hope its over soon and your body can begin to heal. Can you call your doctor on vacation and get permission to have the baby?…if thats all thats stopping them. Where’s the compassion?
    love you, am anxciously awaiting a long break in your blog as sign of a positive hospital visit, a healthy baby, and a healthy tracy. love you dearly, chelsea

  8. Darn doctors and their vacations! Same thing happened to me with my third! They put me on a morphine drip to stop labor and wouldn’t feed me. After a day and a half I told them if I couldn’t eat I was leaving. I hate to tell you, but two weeks later when my doc was back I had the baby. Third c-section. I feel for you. And hope to goodness this doesn’t go another two weeks.

  9. Oh, the cruelty! Seriously! Vomitting, peeing and contracting in the cafeteria and they won’t even give you Pitocin?! I am so sorry! This baby has to be coming soon – good luck! Just remember that the most terrible days can only turn into the most interesting blogs!

  10. Puke AND pee on that Drug Nazi, if you can manage it. Throw some of the mucus chunks, including that mucus plug at her, too. Then come have some hot chocolate with me.

    How big were your other babies? Is this baby going to be ginormous if she waits until full term to show up?

  11. Oh gosh Tracy… my heart aches for you… 😦 I don’t get why they wouldn’t help you though… Makes me very grateful for my doc… And I’m cheering on the wiz– 🙂 many thoughts your way…

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