Playroom Napalm

It has to happen every once in a while… there just comes a point where you cannot wade through any more toys, bits of toys, broken toys, neglected toys- you know what I’m talking about.

Tonight I opened up a can of you-know-what on our playroom. My unsuspecting children lie sleeping peacefully upstairs, and I go through their things like judo-mama. I’m brutal and unforgiving. Heaven help any toy that gets in my way when I do this- I toss it. Tonight I tossed the train table. Yes, I did. They never play with it- any of you who unwittingly shelled out the cash for one of these babies after watching your baby LOVE the TT at the store, you know what I mean. In a store, it is the magic, must have, will get years of play out of it toy. You bring the dastardly thing home, they never play trains again. And those Thomas trains are just about worth a college education in cash. Yowza they’re expensive. I’m holding onto the trains- figuring they might still have some play value, but the table and tracks- gone. I said I was merciless.

They might notice the table is gone. That is a big “might” though. It’s amazing- I can toss or donate an entire black giganormous trash bag of toys, and they never even ask where anything went. They don’t notice. You know what they will do in the morning? Cries of joy will ring out at all the toys they “haven’t seen in forever!”- never noticing the gaps in their treasures.

My kids, like most of us, have too much stuff. Too many toys. Too much indulgence of things. What they need is more time outside, chasing butterflies and looking at clouds. Things that don’t require a trip to The Giraffe. The best things in life are free, and all that. It’s true anyway.

Now if only there was a Napalm fairy to come into my kitchen as I sleep away upstairs. Ah, the dreams of a mama… 

13 thoughts on “Playroom Napalm

  1. I hope you were planning on offering that table and it’s other goodies to a friend (who shall remain nameless) with a train obsessed child!
    If not than I shall simply never talk to you again….Well, at least until tomorrow when you all come over to play.

  2. My cousin did this, and her kids never said a word, until years later, when the oldest said to them ‘remember the day I woke up and all my toys were gone?’

    I think it is a good thing to do while your kids are young, but I’ve read that around age 7 or 8, they develop a real sense of ownership, and so it makes midnight trashing sessions a little more difficult, because they really do start to notice.

    I desperately need to take out a ton of crap from my kids rooms as well. I am waiting until the 2 oldest ones go on vacation with Daddy – then the bombs will hit! My oldest is 7, so hopefully she’ll be OK with it, but at some point, they’re just going to get buried under all that crap. I’m hoping a week away will help them forget what was in there.

  3. I went through the toys with the kids and sold them at a garage sale. My oldest loved it because he got the money and then went and spent it on something he really wanted (a new scooter). As for the train table, can’t wait to get rid of that but P’s still plays.

  4. Freecycle, freecycle, freecycle! Join, and you can give that stuff away for free to people who will come and pick up your junk. Then they will use it, and you can feel good about giving your probably still-usuable stuff to people who want it.

    I gotta say, though–a train table? Wow, i’m impressed!

  5. Wow, I think I shall call you General Mama from now on! Way to go! I finally had enough our monstrosity called playtime. Even after I spent three whole days going through every room in our house, two trips to Goodwill (and I have a pretty big van), two bags of broken toys/papers/projects/junk, I still have two hugs shelving units of toys. I didn’t think the kids had to much, but times three it really starts to get out of hand!

    I hope the boys love all the “new” toys today. Funny how that works out. Hasn’t been used in ages, yet resurrected by cleaning, the kids love lost toys.

  6. “What they need is more time outside, chasing butterflies and looking at clouds”
    Um, have you BEEN outside recently?! It’s, like, a BILLION degrees out there!! I say we camp out inside with the A/C, movies, and some ice cream.

  7. Mo- sounds like an invite to me! I got sweaty and grumpy just trying to get everyone IN the car todya. I’ll raise you one train table for a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. What flavor you ask?? Why, Cherry Garcia, of course!

    Heather- someone else mentioned Freecycle to me before- I think it was Island Queen. Sounds like a much better idea than just chucking things.

  8. I LOVE tossing my kids stuff in the night. It’s even better if you can sell it on Ebay and make some cash. The trick is hiding it well enough for the week or so that it takes to auction it off to the highest bidder. Seriously, dejunking is so fulfilling and it’s nice when the kids are young enough not to notice what’s missing.

  9. I am loving, LOVING having 75% of my kids’ stuff (and my stuff) gone from our closets. I boxed some up for storage until me move, but donated about as much to a resale store for disabled vets. I used to purge closets and toyboxes on a regular basis, but the more extreme version, where I asked the girls which five (5) games they each wanted to keep out for the summer turned out even better. It is so much faster and easier for them to clean up. And they don’t miss anything.

  10. My husband has issues with stuff like this, so I was never really allowed to do it (when the kids got a little older than yours are). His mom used to chuck his stuff when he was little without telling him. I would toss stuff that was broken, but mostly I’d put stuff into storage and rotate toys.

  11. You know Susan, I do feel a little guilty sometimes, but the truth is they don’t seem to notice and like the things they have better when there is less. I know when they get a little older, Napalm won’t really be an option anymore.

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