How Dad Rolls…

It’s no secret daddies and mamas do things differently… sometimes very differently. This used to stress me out, thinking if my husband didn’t do things my way, there was something wrong with him- turns out, there was something wrong with my thinking. I know I’m not the first woman, who as a new mother, shoo-ed her well-intentioned husband away from taking care of baby.

Well, new-mamahood was 5+ years ago now, and boy howdy, have I learned my lesson. When my husband offers to help, I don’t think twice- sure he does things differently- but instead of stressful, it actually has become quite entertaining.

Like almost every human with a “y” chromosome, he is constitutionally incapable of choosing an outfit that matches. Not gonna happen. Especially when he dresses Abby, it’s a riot to see what he comes out with- sometimes he purposefully makes horrid choices, but other times, he really tries, and yet the outcome is the same as the horrid choices. I’ve gotten a lot of good laughter from his fashion “sense”.

DH has a phobia of baby-barf, which is ironic, since Jeffrey was the king of Barfers. Dear Husband totally geeks out if barf or even drool lands anywhere on his person. So he has developed a coping mechanism: He puts Abby is clothes several sizes too big that cover her hands, so when she chews or drools, the extra fabric catches the overflow. He calls these shirts and dresses “Self-Soppers”.

Changing diapers. He’s actually quite good at it, and does it frequently. However, he is terrified of getting poop anywhere on his body. Totally grosses him out- “poop finger” is something he cannot handle, so when he changes a baby, the wipe container will be lower by about 25 wipes- each and every time. Small price to pay for a DH who changes babies.

Baths: The water is always either too hot, or ice cold. For some reason, warm just doesn’t compute- but they’ll survive. That, and he uses about 15 squirts of Johson’s baby wash, per kid. But hey, I have a husband who helps, so I’m not complaining!

Laundry.  When DH does some laundry- everthing gets washed in HOT and everything gets a splash of bleach. Everything. I won’t even explain. No laundry for you!

He’s a great vacuum-er. Better than I am, actually, because, a la Mr Incredible, he lifts the couch with one arm and vacuums underneath with the other. I can’t do that.

Dishes: Will, in fact, run the machine when only half-full. And will, in fact, always use 5 times the soap called for. But they are clean, dang it!

The other day, before leaving for work, he made our bed. It was the better than a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates. I felt soft and squishy towards him all day. What a good man!

10 thoughts on “How Dad Rolls…

  1. I think they’re bad at laundry on purpose. I think somewhere in high school or college, someone takes them aside and tells them “just use bleach too often” or “dry clean only” means throw it in the washer and dryer, and you’ll never have to do laundry again.

    But yes, my husband helps, often. He does most of the cooking. But he won’t scrub a toilet if the bacteria inside climbed up and bit him. And yes, he is banned from the laundry as well.

  2. Vaccums? Wow, I’m trying to think of a time I’ve ever seen Andrew vacuum (and you notice I tried spelling it both ways, just to get it right at least once?)

  3. My hubby makes things magic in my house. The soap dispensers are always full, there is t.p. in the bathrooms, and the water on the cooler is replaced without me even asking. But I don’t think I have seen the vacuum out much without it being in my hands. By the way, I told him about the bed making, I think he got the hint. A magic bed would be nice.

  4. I have to admit that I do the same thing with diapers…….we go thorugh a lot of wipes in our house.

    We have SUCH SIMILAR taste in music…………..

  5. It’s nice to have a husband that helps. Honestly I have the best. He’s actually a better “housewife” than I am. He can’t stand clutter, dirty dishes, or laundry. When it comes to the Mommy stuff though, I am the queen. The “Horrid outfits” made me laugh, we have the exact same issue. It works out pretty well around here. He takes care of the house (most of the time), and I take care of the kids (anything that requires more than holding).

  6. [step up on soapbox, clear throat]

    Can I stand up for DH here for a second? (Dads can feel picked on, too…)

    And you know that I like reading your posts, but I have to take issue with these lines:

    You said: “Well, new-mamahood was 5+ years ago now, and boy howdy, have I learned my lesson. When my husband offers to help, I don’t think twice- sure he does things differently- but instead of stressful, it actually has become quite entertaining.”

    The problem with this line of reasoning is that in the end, you are still convinced that he is wrong and you are right. You believe there is simply one correct way of doing things, and it must obviously be your way.

    I think that just because it is different, doesn’t mean that it is necessarily wrong. My wife and I do many things differently. But in the majority of those cases, there isn’t a clear correct way of doing things.

    I do recognize, however, that there are areas in which there is a correct answer. For example, you don’t put regular bleach in the laundry when you are doing colored clothes. Okay. I get that. I just get a little bit defensive when people post about daddy incompetencies. Different can be good!! 🙂

    [step off soapbox]

    Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. Keep up the good work.

  7. Inexperienced Dad: Consider me chastened. You are correct. Who really cares if my daughter has on yellow pants, a pink leopard shirt and blue and purple striped socks? Or when the boys have on shorts as it’s snowing. 😉

    All joking aside, there are more than my ways to do things. Thanks for the nod.

  8. Actually I have a “bodily fluids (and I suppose this extends to solids) in any form” phobia.

    Although its not as bad as my snake phobia. Heaven help us when junior brings a snake into the house.

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