Where to Put that Smiley Face…

Dear Voldemart,

It’s been nice while it lasted, but we are so through. I never want to see you again. No, I don’t even want to be friends. You suck.

You suck us in with your promises of price-matching and cheap diapers. You suck us in with the convenience of food, medicine, clothes, diapers, toys and house paint all in one fell swoop. You suck us in; us harried and stressed and time-crunched mama’s who hate dragging three kids under five anywhere, let alone three different stores.

It’s not for the politically correct reasons. It’s not because you drive out the mom & pop shops, or that you pay your employees pittance and have that dumb happy face all over. It’s not for the fact that you censure your books and music, or that you’re stingy with the benefits, or even that you don’t care when my kid gets his fingers squished in one of your broken, dirty, nasty carts…

It’s because the stuff you sell is total and utter crap. Low prices, my butt. Buying things that break, are made of substandard materials, or third-tier ingredients is not saving me any time or money, and I guess that’s a fact it took me a while to really see.

Sure, I can buy new bath towels for $4 a piece, but as soon as I wash them, they fall apart, and they don’t absorb water anyway- did you not understand that was the primary function of “towel”? Sure, I can get your store-brand of diapers, but the stuff inside gobs up and explodes on my baby’s bum- that is, if I can even get the dang thing on her without the tab tearing off in my hand. It’s the same with all of your products- wrapping paper like tissue, scissors that won’t cut anything, markers that are dry after two uses, Christmas lights that break after two days on the tree, clothes that fall apart in the wash, socks that break through at the toe after one wearing, and on and on.

And don’t even get me started on your brand of what you call “food”. You want to talk about sub-standard quality? Look no further than your canned-goods, fruit juices, dairy products and baked goods. And I use “goods” with the utmost reservations.

So, given all this, how much money are you really saving people? Oh, I know, you aren’t really in the business of really saving people money- that’s just a gimmick to get poor people in to spend what little they have on your crap. Yes, you can get a LOT of crap at Voldemart- but crap is exactly what you have when you got home, and within a short time, you will need to re-purchase all the things you thought were a good buy.

So the cheap diapers? Not worth it anymore. I would rather pay a buck or two more, and feel good about myself. Like I said, we’re done. And I’m not sorry. You suck.

Happy Holidays,

Tracy M

(Double posted at MMW today)

5 thoughts on “Where to Put that Smiley Face…

  1. WOW! Kinda makes me glad the nearest one is 1+hr away. I’ve only ever gone to a “Voldemart” 4 or 5 times in my life. I’ll continue getting my food at Winco and everything else at “Tarjay”, thank you very much. 🙂

  2. Hilarious! Thanks for the laughs and the educational information 🙂 !! I rarely shop at “Voldemart” anymore – too far away, and just plain not worth it … for multiple reasons.

    P.S. One more rant you can add to your reasons to destest “Voldemart” is the LOUSY customer service. Why would you want to shop somewhere where you know more about the products you are looking to purchase than they do? Too many times have I asked for help from one of their employees only to be more confused after I have talked with them. Grrr.

  3. I think that the reason I have an ok realationship with said store is that I go in expecting to find none of the things that I need and for none of the staff to be remotely pleasant, knowlegable or english speaking.

    Thus, I am always happily suprised.

    Sadly, they are the only store in town that continues to sell the formula my baby needs (the plain old Good Start…the purple one…everyone else only sells the “Supreme” and that makes her spitty..).

    So we go, we get our McDonalds and we stock up on formula, cheap apple juice and spices and lots of the fun flavored chapsticks……… 🙂 But, I am not a fan. It is a good thing it shares a parking lot with Trader Joes….

  4. Bek- I know. And, I know your particular store– been there quite a few times- and I know I’ll end up in mine again, too. But I swear, I am going to try my hardest to let my money speak elsewhere. That said, Beanies fomula was something I could find there for far less $$- so there I went. When your forumula is costing $3-400 a month, you do what you gotta do. (yes, he needed the stuff in the small cans that cost $20+ a can, only lasts two days… ugh.)

  5. I swore I’d never enter WallyWorld again after I walked in looking for cheap toiletry items in a store that was being audited (CHAOS) and was in that general area when a mother’s child accidentally sliced himself on a razor (what it was doing out of a package and at a level where a small child can reach I do not know) and the mother started hollering loudly for an employee and all the auditing folks just gave her blank unhelpful stares and I was so overwhelmed with ickiness that I had to get out of the store right away without buying anything at all.

    In fact I feel all icky again, just thinking about it.

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