The Dandelion Year in Review

January: Wallowing in the misery of pregnancy, trying to keep up with two little kids while barfing all day, every day. Oh. So. Fun. The porch pumpkin was firmly spreading it’s grossness across the front of our house,  Jeffrey announced to his pre-school class that Mama pees her pants when she barfs, and Beanie stopped napping. (Ugh. And I thought this January looked bleak!)

February: The Porch Pumpkin disappeared, I discovered huckleberries and had a showdown with my mother-in-law. My hormones are out of control, and I can’t stop barfing, but my traffic is way up, as everyone wants to see what the circus freak is doing today. My grandpa died, and my kids think the Valentines I left in the living room are from Santa Claus and grandma. I can’t pull myself from bed to explain.

March: Mother in law feigns a heart attack to keep from talking to me, I am horrified at the general apathy of folks who don’t know what the 19 th amendment is, and I’m still a hormonal barfing wreak. “B” is for boogers that grow in your nose at night, and for Butter Snack, that Beanie ate under the bed. The water heater died, I was still pregnant, although now I am fainting, too!

April: I am dilated to 4cm and still pregnant, still miserable and still barfing all day, every day. I decide to write the kids birth stories, partly because I hope to spur the new one to be born, partly because I fear for the shards of my brain I have left failing me. I have the night from hell with the Drug Nazi and am sent home with no baby. Finally, on the morning of the 25th, Miss Abigail decides to make her almost 9 lb grand entrance. In sixteen minutes flat. Yes. I may be split in two, but I’m not pregnant anymore!

May: Baby blues hit, and the family tries to adjust to a new baby, some of us better than others. A visit from family to welcome the new baby, leaning to parent three, and going to Target becomes a fiasco rather than a joy. Tender and emotional time.

June: No sleep, no sleep, no sleep- and my writing shows it! Jeff refuses to eat peas and we name him Princess, I muse on my fountain pen, and Beanie and Jeff try nursing their dolls. My body has become alien, I freak out, and wax poetic on the glories of cheese. I take three kids and a newborn to see “Cars”. Alone. I really am crazy. Abby gets thrush and I make the jump to WordPress.

July:Take the boys picking strawberries and make the best jam ever, and memories too. We begin reading Charlotte’s Web, and open a love affair with my favorite book ever. Jeff gave his first primary talk from behind my legs, and Abby maxes out the baby swing. We make ketchup, I offer to beat your kid, and wax lovely about my dear husband. Jeff embarrasses me yet again in a public restroom, I introduce you to Chelsea, and at the end of the month, Charlotte dies, and my boys and I have good cry.

August:Target fails me again, and Beanie gets his first stitches at the ER, while Jeff shows the early stages of a bra-fetish. The Boys get hold of my thread and try and spin webs downstairs, bringing on the demise of our vacuum, and I celebrate my first blogiversary, right before I head off to see the family in California. We make the trek to Disneyland, and I have fun even if no one else did. Jeff turns five!

September:Beanie turns three! Jeffrey starts kindergarten and skates into class on a wave of mama’s tears, and I take part in the online commemoration of the victims of September 11th, memorializing James V. DeBlase. Beanie potty trains himself, and stashes food under Abby’s crib. Jeff gets sent to the principal’s office for the first time and Abby makes friends with the neighbor’s horny cat.

October:We’re sick, and I painted the bathroom, and no one noticed.  My art comes back, and I start a new line of patterns. We discover the Pricesses, and by boys are eating a wildebeest in the bathroom. Jeff learns to read, and Beanie announces to the world that he has “big balls, mama!” and that there is a monster living in his pants… And we got high-speed!

November:We got a couple of cords of wood and start to use our fireplaces, and I introduce Jeff to the joy of Monopoly. We are all sick again. Jeff looses his first tooth, and Beanie turns to rubber bands in Costco, while Abby continues to smile and be the happiest baby on earth. I am a coatrack, and have too many thing going on for any one woman. We have a fabulous Thanksgiving with friends.

December: We’re sick again. Jeff looses another tooth, and discovers yet a third loose. I publicly cry my anguish with Voldemart and vow to never enter their vile doors again, which I manage to actually hold to so far. It’s cookie time, and I actually figure out how to post pictures of my projects. Christmas is lovely, and on with the new year.

6 thoughts on “The Dandelion Year in Review

  1. Yeah, maybe I should just stop blogging and write a month-end summary each month, eh?? Nah… my sanity needs the outlet, even if no one wants to read me!

  2. Totally made me giggle reading and remembering this stuff, and all the stuff in between. Hope this year is more eventful but in a less crazy way!! (as if) Love ya!!

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