Eleven Months

Sure would be nice to say this year flew by- and in a weird way, it did. It’s been a doozy of a year, and frankly one I hope to never relive. And it’s not over yet- either by the calender or by the fact we still don’t have a job. And wow, with the economy just booming and jobs to be had for the picking- Things are just fan-didly-tastic.

I think that’s the hardest part- I run into people, and they always ask, with the cock and nod of the head, how we are. Oh, just fine, thanks for asking. I nod back, we exchange pleasantries, and move along. What is really is I want to scream in frustration. I want to cry out for the hurt and rejection my good husband suffers every time another rejection letter comes. I want to ask ‘why?’ and I wonder what we are doing, if anything, wrong. And I catch myself being so fatalistic, and I know that’s not how it works, and I pull myself up from the puddle on the floor, wipe my kids noses, swallow hard, blink back the tears and paste the smile right back on my face.

I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what else to do…

6 thoughts on “Eleven Months

  1. I truly hope the new year will bring positive changes for you and your family! Of course it would be even better if things changed now and you could end 2008 on a happier note.

  2. This has definitely been one for the crapper.

    It’s hard not to break down and keep the smile pasted on your face when people ask but don’t really want to know.

    Hang on!

  3. i understand your pain—it’s been a little over two years for us.

    i just keep telling myself someday we’ll look back on this and see everything we’ve learned and how much we’ve grown because of it.

    i wish i had better advice for you. just keep plugging away. we’re praying for you!

  4. Not being the overly sentimental type I have never given a cyber hug. I give In Real Life hugs quite frequently (often combined with a cheek kiss because I hug so many Latinos). Here and now I break my ban on cyber hugs for a very worthy woman and family 🙂
    (((hugs)))

    A week or more ago I posted about reaching our limit. I thought I had hit mine- HA! As you well know God does a good job of showing us that our limits are no where near where we think they are and blesses us when somehow we keep going.

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