It’s Like Drunk Dialing the Blog


Not that I would know. Or anything. Anymore. Moving on…

Well, it looks like the whole lot of us is headed to California for Christmas. I’m not giving out exact dates here, and to any burglars reading, we’ll have a house-sitter. A big, mean house-sitter. And a big dog. When I say big dog- I mean really big. And an alarm. So stay away- just so we’re clear. I mean it. I won’t be held responsible if my dog eats you.

We haven’t been to my family’s for Christmas since Beanie was a newborn and blogging was but a twinkle in my eye. Everyone loves Christmas, but I especially love Christmas with my family. Like everyone, we have our traditions and our quirkiness, but I can absolutely guarantee no one else has decorations like my mom. Does your mom have a  ceiling height spinning (yes, it really spins) Christmas tree? How about a bronze statue of Walt Disney that has his own Santa hat for the holidays? Or a set piece Mickey Mouse that is bigger than my children, also with attire that change for the holidays? How about a front yard so full of lights and Disney characters people come by the minivan to take pictures of their kids standing on her lawn? No? Ha! I knew it.

(I would put up a picture, but that would violate the Tracy M/Her Mom peace treaty of 2005.) 

My mom loves Christmas. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in her house changes for the holidays. From the artwork on the walls, to the bedding on the beds, to the socks on our feet, to the plates on which we eat. She has two Christmas trees, and it’s routine for the fresh tree to have anywhere from 3-6 feet cut off because it just “didn’t look that big” out in the forest. We all just roll our eyes.

I want my kids to experience this kind of Christmas, because while I’m good at a lot of things, I just don’t ride the all-encompassing wave of the holidays quite like my mom. I’m satisfied with a string of lights around the porch and a pretty wreath on the door, whereas my mom causes rolling black-outs with her draw on the grid. My kids are going to love love love being at Grandma and Grandpa’s. So am I.

So, email me if you want me to pencil you in. I won’t have a ton of free time, but I plan on taking at least an evening and meeting up with friends. (Bek, that specifically means you!) And, Robber-person, if you even think about it, this is my preferred dog:


That is not a doctored or photo-shopped image in any way. I have owned three (yes, three)  English Mastiffs; Fooflaroo, Winston and Jackson. They could all hold a soccer ball in their mouths- even my girl, Foof. They look really dumb, but do not be fooled. Mess with me, and you’ll be messin’ with 250 pounds of big, dumb, protective doggie.

Wow. That was a strage little detour- Christmas plans, my mom’s house, and then my dog who can eat you. Guess that’s what you get when I type at 2:42 in the morning.

On a squishier note, thank you all for your kind words lately as I wallowed in my old oak apple tub of self-pitty. I have so much to be grateful for, and when I take my shoulder from the wheel to sit and whine in my weed garden, I get myself into trouble. It’s ok to feel down, I totally accept that, and I’m glad I have such an awesome sounding board and venting spot. That should be an Uncle Remus tale. The Venting Spot. They could add it to Splash Mountain. Anyway,  we are richly blessed, in spite of our current economic and personal difficulties. I just have to decide which garden I’m going to tend. Blah Blah Blah. Nice lady.

Oh, boy. Tomorrow is going to be such a blast! It’s almost 3 a.m.- that means Beanie will be up in a little over three hours, and his AIM teacher is coming in the morning for his home visit! Maybe I’ll do up some wicked purple eyeshaddow to match the fabulous bags I’ll be sporting under my eyeballs. Cool!

I’m thinking I’ll try and bake some bread too- HAHAHAHAHAHA! Time for bed, Tracy. Step away from the keyboard, now. Back away, and no one will be tasered. Over and out.

(Addendum: It’s 8:06. I finally went to bed { or rather, the to the couch} at 5:30. There are two loaves of fresh bread doing their yeasty goodness of a second rise on the kitchen counter. Beanie woke me up at 7- so you do the math. Awesome.)

18 thoughts on “It’s Like Drunk Dialing the Blog

  1. That sounds like a lot of fun. I like holiday decorations. DH does not. I figure if I acrue one or two things every year, and put them out, then eventually I will have a lovely collection of decorations which he will hopefully just get used to as it grows. Kind of like the baby, except different, because he’s liked the baby from the get-go.

  2. Oy. My obsession began with trying to give each kid their own tree to decorate, and then one for each room, and then the porch….and then it just took off from there. And yup, I was in the line right behind your mom the year they made the ceiling scraping spinning tree with built in lights! I love it. LOVE. IT. But I decided to give it to my son and his wife the year they moved and were low on funds…but I visit it, and smile.

    California for Christmas! Nothing says fun more than seeing your little ones being able to run and play outside with their Christmas goodies and not have to be wrapped in ten pounds of batting, mittens and rubber shoes. 78 degrees + Dec.25 = HEAVEN!

    Very excited for you to be here and bask in the Disneyness of it all! Give your mom a hug from me!

  3. s’mee, you’re the first person EVER to have a spinning tree besides my mom. At lease in my world.

    78 degrees on Christmas always bummed me out- even as a kid. I would pray for cold, foggy Christmases- but it seldom happend.

  4. I agree with you T-I couldn’t be more depressed that snow has not fallen yet here. And I am thinking that if the snow gods don’t give up any before everyone gets her for Christmas, it is I that might be hung rather than twinkling lights. As for sleeping, J has been wonderful and has decided there is no point to me getting up in the morning anymore, so I sleep till 9 or so while he gets the kids showered and ready and takes them to school. I love it!!! There is nothing like waking up to a quiet home.

  5. Tracy, I have to tell you My sis in law’s famous Christmas weather quote:

    “It’s just not Christmas if it isn’t gloomy outside.”

    I beg to differ, as I have a palm tree on my porch with a tiny sign that proclaims: “Let it Snow! -Somewhere else!”

    To each his own! I hope your Christmas gives you what you want. : )

  6. I love reading your random posts! They always make me smile. I hope you get more sleep tonight. I always pay for it when I stay up way too late – and I’m a night owl, so my late is really quite early morning. (Hmm, kind of like you typing away at 2:42… Are you an insomniac?)

    I’m glad that you are seeing the brighter side of things in your life!

    Christmas sounds like it will be wonderful! Glad you will get to spend it with extended family. Your kids will love it!

    When you’re used to snow for Christmas, it is weird not to have it. I’ve experienced both. I don’t like the cold and wet, but I do enjoy the look of a white Christmas.

  7. Love it! I love your late night manic posts.

    Yes, UD’s covet would match those beautiful wicked purple eyes of yours. And I will never be able to ride “Splash Mountain” again without thinking of you sitting at your venting spot, LOL! You completely kill me Tracy.

  8. That Mastiff is amazing I have one myself but she is not quite that large. Do you know how I can get a very large mastiff Like that ?

  9. Whitney, I do not. I lucked out, and Jack was probably one of the biggest Mastiff’s I’ve ever seen. He was the best dog ever, like most people’s dogs. I did get him through Norther California Mastiff Rescue. You might try a Mastiff Rescue near you.

    • Michael, Mastiff Rescue chapters are all over the country. That’s where I got two of mine. Get in contact with them- it’s a great way to get a great dog.

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