Because blogging in the middle of the night is always a great idea! What’s with the insomnia lately? It’s sttress, (see, I’m not going to fix that typo, because even my fingers are stuttering) I know, but seriously, 3:34 a.m. and I’m all hot and sweaty and bothered. No, not from that; from cleaning out my pantry. Oh yes, because one cannot sleep when the messy pantry is calling. Never-mind the dishes in the sink, or the laundry monster creeping and twisting down the hall like some possessed half-zombie. Nope. The pantry.
My pantry is really more of New York apartment. I’d lay money, somewhere in Manhattan is a sap with his twin mattress crammed into a closet smaller than where we keep our food. Food is important. And since my children were apparently born in a barn, and like to hoof up to the trough and eat from the box, the floor, the shelves or anywhere there might be a morsel of twinkie, my pantry looks like a sty.
I clean, organize and label, then my children go in and do gleeful piggy rolls while they throw boxes of cereal in the air, dance on cheezy puffy nuclear niblets and smear chocolate syrup on their rosy complexions with wild abandon.
That really is the only explanation.
So, I figure, since it’s the middle of the night, I’ve got about four hours where it will actually stay clean. With the newly added doorknob prophylactic, I may get another five minutes of clean.
My RS president came over today (yesterday? yes? yesterday.) and we took apart my sewing machine. It was like watching two chimpanzees try and figure out a how to fix a submarine (or some equally absurd metaphor). Let’s unscrew this, and take that off, and if we could juuuuuust pop this thingy off, oh crap! I dropped the screw… what’s this do? No! Let me unplug it first! You think this paperclip will stand in for a screwdriver? Now where ‘d that little black thing go? Maybe if I could just… uh-oh…
After about an hour, we managed to get the Genie back in the bottle, and agreed repairing Berninas is better left to the professionals. If you’ve never seen the insides, trust me, there are lots and lots of circuit boards, wires and little tiny thingys. Makes me want to oil up my treadle machine and give it a whirl- that’s just feet-powered. If I gave Beanie a whole bag of M&M’s, you think maybe…? Nah….maybe…
This afternoon, David comes in the bedroom while I am doing a breathing treatment (asthma’s been particularly bad lately) In his hand were two empty Kotex tampon plastic thingys. He holds them out, ” Guess where I got these?”
David, looking a little green around the gills, “The boys were using them as trombone whistles.”
“Oh no… Ewwwwwww.”
*snerkle* Can disgust and giggles inhabit the same space at the same time? Gross. Ah, bribery, such a sweet thing in a bout 10 years.