So. Perhaps I’m more poetic, more heroic, when I’m also being vague and cryptic. Perhaps reading Dandelion is more fun when you don’t know the names of the demons that are haunting me. Perhaps. While I’ve held my cards close to my chest for a while now, I’ve also made it no secret that my heart was breaking.
Three days before I left for Houston, I filed for divorce.
There is a lot of personal pain that will remain just that- personal. This was not a step I took lightly or with anything but the most serious gravity. I tried everything humanly possible to keep from taking this step, but once the time came, I knew what I had to do. Publicly, all I will say is that sometimes the agency of others really sucks.
Right now, I am protecting my children. I am trying to keep our lives as normal as is possible; we are all tender and raw around the edges. The kids spent the time I was in Houston down in California with my family, and I flew to the bay area to pick them up straight from Texas.
Now. I turn my weary, red eyes to the horizon, and I can see tiny glimmers of light. I don’t want to get too excited to soon, but I really, really think things may be looking up. The road is hard and there will be bumps, I am well aware. I know there are hurdles I cannot yet see; being a single-Mama is nothing I ever planned to try. But I’m going to make it. I really, really am.
The Lord has abundantly blessed me- with friends, family, talents, faith and hope. Now is the time for me to pull myself up, dust myself off, count my blessings, and get to work. And that’s just what I intend to do…