It’s been a while, hasn’t it my friends? It was brought to my attention today that some folks think ‘crap’ is a naughty word. Hmmm. Maybe, and while I don’t really want my kids tossing it around with ease, I gotta have something. We don’t even say ‘fart’ in our house- that’s a holdover from my dad, who thought nothing of saying s#*t, but preferred ‘frog’ from his children when passing gas. Which all just goes to my point. People are weird. We all have idiosyncrasies. I say crap, you say… whatever it is you say.
I caved. Our house was looking dismal on our street without any lights. But seriously? Digging out the ladder in 15 degrees and climbing on the roof? Not gonna happen. I cheated. I hung the light around the upstairs windows, on the INSIDE! Aren’t I bright! We look festive, and no one had to hit the ER.
Beanie and Abby were arguing today over whether I was 12 or 100. Abby had 12, Bean insisted I was 100, and that Abby was stupid. He got a time out. What? It was for calling his sister a name. It was. I swear. (as has been established)
The best thing about the light inside? I can lay in bed and look a them.
Shhhh… don’t tell anyone, but Abby made it all day today without an accident! I may be able to soon divert the Pull-Ups budget back into our food budget!
The other day the kids wouldn’t let me come downstairs because they were making me presents. Now, there are three (very large) very creatively wrapped boxes under the tree with my name on them. Based on their collective weights, I think each box contains one piece of drawn artwork on a piece of paper. I think they just wanted the cardboard tubes and had to justify the use of massive amounts of wrapping paper. I’m very excited.
A friend showed up tonight with a hot pizza for the kids, and the makings for homemade play-doh as a project, and told me to get lost while she fed my kids dinner, did baths and got them to bed. I got to have my very own popcorn and smoothie at Target, and finished up my shopping for my kids. I have good friends.
In order to save myself the agony of wrangling an angry octopus, I now wait until Beanie is asleep and go in Ninja style to slather him in his skin cream. (Cutivate, for anyone who’s got a kid with eczema) The cold dry air is most unkind to his skin. We are all happier with the double-secret method, even if he doesn’t know he’s happier.
My stupid toothache is back. I’m hoping ignoring it will be a successful strategy.
Hot buy of the week: ELF shiny lipgloss in pink lemonade. It looks great on everyone, and at $1 at Target, you cannot go wrong. Mo gave me my first tube, and I had to pick up another tonight. You could totally find a $1 under your floor mats and get a new lipstick. It’s pretty!
The divorce diet is en force. Some days I forget to eat, and have to make myself when the grumpies get to me, and other days I want to eat Cheetos and Mexican food all day. Think I could use a little balance, eh?
The pre-Christmas purge began today. I opened up a can of Napalm on the boy’s room, even moving their beds and flipping their mattresses. Two garbage bags gone, under the beds cleaned out. Lego all sorted and binned. They didn’t even notice when they got home from school. Abby’s up tomorrow.
Tonight when Beanie got in bed, Abby had left him a little hamburger treat near his pillow. He looked at it, grossed out, and said, “Abby is such a hog.” What does one say to that? I guess he didn’t appreciate the offering.
I am done with my Christmas shopping. Thanks to the kindness of some very kind folks, my kids are going to have a nice Christmas. Because of generous, good people who wanted to love my kids, they will not have a clue how little we actually have this Christmas. I’m all for honestly with my children, but Christmas morning is not the time to explain lack of child-support or why avoiding consumer debt is so important to us keeping our home. Thank you. You know who you are, and I love you.