Today was a hard day. I don’t know why. Some days I make it through feeling strong and directed, others, like today, I bumble along, a raw nerve-ending overreacting to every stimuli. My nerves bubbled to the surface in clumsiness; all day I knocked stuff over, dropped things, dodged when I should have ducked. I forgot to eat, then felt sick when I did eat. My head throbbed and I was cross and grumpy with the kids.
Yesterday, I noticed the fluid levels were low on my car, so I stopped at the auto parts store and asked them what I needed. I was proud of myself, and poured the whole gallon of antifreeze in the reservoir in the engine. This morning, when Abby and I went out in the garage to get in the car, the floor was flooded with slick pink antifreeze. It all dripped out overnight. Great. Now what? Can I drive it? I dunno. I backed half out of the garage so I could at least sop up the pink fluorescent goo with newspapers. I looked underneath the car, but honestly, like I know what I’m even looking at? I snapped a picture of the goo so I could show the mechanic, and another of the underside of the car where it was dripping. Why? Who knows. I’m a blogger. I document stuff.
So what did I do then? Why, I drove to the carwash. I can’t take a trashed car to the mechanic. Sometimes I’m such a girl. I used one of my carwash coupons, and sucked up all the old french fries and lost Lego pieces with the industrial super-sucker vacuums, then drove through the “magic robot rainbow carwasher”. I had nothing to do with that name.
I drove to the Jiffylube where I last got my oil changed, for not other reason than the guys stand out at the curb and wave at us when they’re bored. The were so nice. The looked at it, added oil and washer fluid, and didn’t charge me anything. My radiator is cracked. Oh, and I had overfilled the reservoir. Yeah.
Then, since the Soon To Be Ex was not returning my phone calls lately, I drove by his apartment. His truck was there, so I went in the office and asked the lady if she could call his apartment and have him come down and meet me. I guess he’s answering for others, because she got him. I waited in the parking lot, and kept Abby in the car. It was tense but brief, and it was public. I just shut the door and put on my sunglasses so he couldn’t see my eyes well up.
Then carpool, kids, homework, dinner, baths, jammies, a cartoon, books and bed. Oh, and some laundry happened in there somewhere too. As well as a phone call with my sister-in-law, whom I love.
Then, in an attempt to learn to use this fancy, awesome new computer, I went to apple.com and it told me I needed to download update. I said “sure, sounds great” and clicked the prompted buttons. Then, when it was done, it told me to restart my computer, which I also happily clicked. Then, catastrophe. The whole computer completely froze up and nothing, NOTHING would move or turn on, or turn off, or exit. Nothing.
I’ve had this computer for a matter of days, and I’ve broken it. I burst into tears, feeling incompetent, helpless, frustrated and just plain overwhelmed and mad. For a solid hour and half, I try every fix and trouble-shooting idea in the Mac book. Nothing. Just a spinning gear and a blue apple.
In tears, I go downstairs to fire off a pathetic email to my friends who might be able to help me from Old Bessie. In the five minutes I am downstairs, the Mac here fixes herself. I have no idea what happened, or why. But I got down and gave some heartfelt and teary thanks, then sent out another email begging forgiveness from my logical and mostly male friends for my tear-filled email.
Only 19 more minutes to this day. It’s almost over. Here’s to a better tomorrow…