Goodbye House. Goodbye gleaming hardwood floors. Goodbye white picket fence. Goodbye master bath larger than Little House’s kitchen. Goodbye picket-fenced emerald-velvet grassed yard. Goodbye high ceilings and sunroom Goodbye curving staircase and food-storage room. Goodbye landscape lights and four bathrooms. Goodbye french doors and central air. Goodbye double-hung windows and arched doorways. Goodbye deeply shaded backyard with climbing trees and quail and foxes and deer. Goodbye cul-de-sac where kids could play safely and boys learned to ride their bikes. Goodbye front porch with Adirondack chairs and a birdfeeder. Goodbye deep soaking tub and the kids’ own bathroom. Goodbye dreams and future I planned. Goodbye “we” and goodbye “us”.
And Hello wide-open future and all that it may contain…
Dandelion Mama 
But not “Good night to the mama whispering ‘hushhhh.'”
I have, all at the same time, goosebumps, tears, and all the faith in the world that you will (and, to a large extent, already have) turn this into something beautiful and amazing. Best of luck to you, Tracy.
“I place the future in the hands of God.” You are very loved Tracy!
What Teresa said.
They are all good things, and you will miss them. But if you went back to the empty house without your kids and your life in it, it’s just a place, and they’re just things. Not that those “justs” aren’t worth shedding tears over (I would!). But I hope the wide open future is none the bleaker for it’s lack of landscape lighting. God has a way of reminding me when I get too comfortable and attached to my “things.” And oh, I get very attached to things like fenced-in yards, cul-de-sacs, and laundry rooms.
I just came over from Segullah, and your post really got under my skin. It is so hard to leave a beloved home.
Good luck to you and your family. I know you will land in a good place. (Or make it into one!)
=)
Hi Tracy: It’s hard to see how far you’ve come when you’re still in the thick of it…but you ARE moving forward…and just remember this…you are stronger than you think you are – whether you want to be or not! I’ve never met anyone with as much talent and creativity as you’ve got…so believe in yourself and believe in your future…your bright NEW and EXCITING future!!! xo, Nan
Hello bright and new future!
tracy, i’m praying for you in these days. you are doing it and you’re doing great, even when you don’t feel like you are. i got a kick out of the fact that us birthday girls have the exact same china pattern and the exact same number of settings. go figure. 🙂 thinking of you, A
We moved across town from the house we lived in since the birth of all the kids, when they were 4th grade, 2nd grade and pre-K. They had accompanied us on many trips with many boxes, and were present for the pre-moving-in painting marathons, etc. On our last trip we loaded up all the pets to ride in the car with us, and when I told the kids we’d not be returning again to the old house, they all broke down and cried.
Then it made me tear up. Then I got over it and unloaded the pet gear.
My heart aches for you right now Tracy. Don’t have the words to express it. Love you, Chelsea
God bless your wide-open future.