It’s been more than a year. And truth be told, I had a long time before my divorce was “official” to mourn and process the dissolution of my marriage. Which is a convoluted way of saying I’m ready to go on a date. Now, there’s a dearth of single men in my area- as in- zero, zilch, nada. Okay, that’s a little hyperbolic, but if I want someone reasonably not-messed-up the pool shrinks from “narrow” to “nonexistent”.
So I thought, what the heck, I’ll toss a profile up on an LDS dating site, and see what happens. I snapped this picture with my laptop two days ago, and wrote a quippy little snippet about myself and popped it out to the interwebs. You know that song “It’s Raining Men”? They lied. I don’t know how to write this without sounding snotty, but I’m going to try…
In the two or three days my profile has been up at the LDS site, more than 130 men have looked at my profile. More than a dozen have emailed me, and 12 additional men have sent what is called a “flirt” which is a canned message saying something like “I’m interested in you!” (ok) or “You’re cute!” (that’s nice) or even “Blowing Kisses!” (ick). Of the more than two dozen men who initiated contact of some sort (canned or otherwise) more than HALF were older than my father (60). Of the other half, two could not speak English (which is fine, but it’s hard to communicate anything, right?), one admitted up-front that he was unemployed and lived with his sister (thanks, actually), one asked me in the first email if I would start an eternal family with him right away, one was younger than my youngest brother (ick again) and one has repeatedly sent “flirts” despite my emailing him and asking if we could have an actual conversation. Two are “separated” but not divorced yet- yeah, that means you are STILL MARRIED. That leaves a handful of guys.
Now, let me assert forcefully- I am not being persnickety about looks or income or children or profession. I would like a guy who is legally single, who is employed, who does not live with his mother or other family member, and who is not old enough to be my father. Is that asking too much? Evidently it is. Yesterday I got an email from a new man. He enclosed a photo of himself leaning on his big truck, and another of him holding a hunting rifle. He is 81 years old.
So help me…
Somewhere there has to be a single man who fits in my (incredibly broad) demographic, right? I’d like him to be an intelligent, honest man who is not afraid of a traditional family situation, but who is also supportive of independence within a relationship. I’m not looking for someone to take care of me, but to walk next to me, and who is comfortable with a woman who is her own person. I’d like to get to know someone slowly, especially since my children are involved and effected by anyone I may date. If he is divorced and has children too, that is perfectly okay. Life happens and none of us have perfect situations.
Tell me friends, is this unreasonable?