There is something to be said for pulling oneself up and trying to have a good attitude. Yeah, things have been hard lately- and I’m not one to bury my feelings under a bushel- not by a longshot. But I also realized this afternoon, as I got ready for class and my friends marshaled around me to help take care of my children so I could actually go to school, that I’m really blessed.
But here’s the thing- for as hard as it’s seemed lately, I am not without resources. Actually, I am seriously blessed in resources, all I have to do is look up and actually pay attention. I have a faith and a church that carries me over the really hard stuff, even when I forget that’s what it’s there for- which, in my pride, is more than I like to admit. When it comes to friends, I’ve been gifted with more people who care for me and my children that I can probably even count- that’s a priceless abundance. I have a family that loves us.
I’m doing well in school, despite this quarter being much harder than the last few- and while that threw me for a loop at first, it was bound to happen. It couldn’t stay easy. That also just required me to shift my perspective. There are ways for me to make this work- again, I just have to look up, take in what’s around me, and make a move in any direction. Lately I’ve been paralyzed with fears- like a deer in headlights- but that’s not how or where I have to remain.
I’m going to try and start painting again, and I have a book coming out in March. I have a friend helping me retool Dandelion, and we should have a fancy new dress here sometime in the next few weeks. It’s time- mama needs something pretty. This year has been good- I had a lovely trip to California in January, February is a mercifully short month, and March brings spring. Those are all checks in the Good Stuff column.
It’s amazing what you see when you simply look up. I was starting to confuse the hard stuff for who I was. That was a mistake. The hard stuff is just happening around me. Yes, I have to deal with it, and yes, I’m more than capable of doing so- but I am not crippled by it. I am made of fine stuff, and underneath the patina wrought by the dust of the rocky path I am walking, I am remembering that I shine. We all do… We just have to remember.
10 thoughts on “Attitude Adjustment”
I was starting to confuse the hard stuff for who I was. That was a mistake.
Profound thought, that. I’ve done that so many times. Still do it too much. I appreciate this reminder and the thoughts of this post.
What michelle said!
Thank you for reminding me to look up!
Tracy, I enjoy your writing. It is raw and honest, and reminds us to look up!
You have a book coming out in March? Deets!
I’m sending you a hug and a wink.
I’ve been reading your blog for a long time (yep, I’m a stalker…sorry! Your story is just too compelling, I couldn’t help myself) but I’ve never commented before. Your reminder today, though, that you are not the hard things, that those things just surround you–that spoke to me, and I needed to say thank you.
Thank you for helping me remember that today! I really needed that.
Well, between you and Segullah this morning I think I’m getting the messages I’m supposed to hear.
California?? When were you down here?? I would have met you somewhere.
It’s easy to confuse the hard stuff with who we are when it seems that life is completely full of hard stuff. Remembering to be grateful makes a difference. I would venture that it even makes ALL the difference.
Continue to count your blessings, Tracy! They are there in abundance, along with the over-abundance of hard times.
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