Somehow, in the last almost five years, I’ve forgotten to have my kids’ photographs taken. In a fit of cleaning this morning, I was dusting and stopped to look at these charming little silver-framed portraits. Ohhh… I thought- look at what a darling little juicy chub Abby was- and Bean! oh, he’s so cute…he’s also TWO and a half years old! and wait a minute- Jeffrey was in Kindergarten here. Oh. My. Heck. It’s been that long since I updated their portraits? MomFAIL.
In all fairness to myself, there are snapshots aplenty of all the milestones and the daily miscellany- and there is the blog, which is a nearly daily record of their lives- and yet, there it sits, the gaping gap in the photo record. When I look at these pictures, it’s bittersweet. I hadn’t told you all- only a few close friends knew anything- but by that time, my X was already deep in the Rx bottle and I was clinging to holding my marriage together. When I look at Abby’s sweet six-month old face, tongue sticking out and cherub cheeks, it also comes with the reminder than we were then two-months post-apocalyptic life and headed to another relapse and OD.
It’s probably time to write some new history. Heading to the run of the mill portrait studio isn’t for me anymore, so I think I’m going to be on the lookout for a photographer who might trade me a painting for some portraits- and maybe this time, I’ll even allow myself to be included in the record of our family.