RC: AWOL Mama Checking In

I picked up a Superman t-shirt the other day for myself- this is my new uniform. I’m taking a page from my children’s playbook and going to believe that if I wear it, I will be invincible. I’m going to need it this quarter. (Don’t google images of SuperWoman- criminy, when did she become a porn star?!)

School starts today. My last quarter here before I graduate and get my move on. It’s going to be a full one too- I’m spending my last quarter as a senior ready to walk talking the lower division stuff that got missed earlier. Batting clean-up, basically. A math class, a lab science (the one I look so long ago did not transfer, much to my disappointment), a computer class to make sure I know how to use a computer, and an elective on the history of women. Yeah, thats’ four classes. Plus, I’m writing my Senior thesis, and it’s about 100 pages of hard writing, plus supporting documents. Of course I should have done this over time, but I didn’t so I’m doing it now.

Not only do I start school today, but my kids— OF COURSE— are on spring break this week. I have to be in class five days a week this quarter. Still not sure how I’m going to swing that, but I suspect Abby will be in class with me more than once. Kindergarten schedule, single parent-hood and full-load college require some creative machinations, and I’ll do what I have to do.

On top of that, I’m moving across the country in 12 weeks.  *gulp*

My garage is flooded and I’ve lost at least half of what was out there- the roof is leaking (and has been all winter, apparently) in no fewer than two dozen places. I started to cry when I went out there to look for something, and was greeted with the disaster. I shoved a few things to what appeared to be a dry-ish corner, and rolled the door back down. I simply cannot deal with it right now- it’s going to take a clean-up crew and a large truck, and as an asthmatic, I honestly fear spending any time in the mold that is surely growing. Let it go.

Bean found a mouse downstairs. the other day. I think it was trying to get out of the rain- it was crawling slowly and I was able to scoop it up and throw it outside with a bag- but it still squeems me out. I know there must be scads more, though I haven’t seen evidence in the house, there certainly is in the disgusting flooded garage. Nightmare.

A friend from my ward brought over a ton of moving boxes for me, and I actually started packing. With the next three months looking like they do, I figure if I pack a few boxes a day, it will work out. At least I hope…

Trying not to feel overwhelmed, but every time my kids whine or place yet another demand on me— such unreasonableness as “what’s for dinner, mom?”— I have to fight back the urge to bite their cute little heads off or burst into tears.

!2 weeks. I can do it. I can do anything for twelve weeks. (please please please let that be true….)

Abby turns six this month. She reminds me nearly hourly, and she’s making a list of how wonderful and enormous her birthday party is going to be, and I’m going to have to break it to her that Jump and Bounce, Chuck E Cheese and a Glitter Princess Tea Party are simply not in mom’s capacity this year- financially or emotionally. Mom FAIL yet again.

I’m not even capable of thinking about finding a job and a place to live in NoVA or DC yet- and yet those both are major things that must be addressed before we pack up and hightail it. It will work out. There will no doubt be more lamenting and wailing from me before this is through.

June 16. I’m graduating June 16th. Come hell (unlikely) or high water (already here), I’m walking across that stage, then getting in my car and getting the heck out of dodge. June 16. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

8 thoughts on “RC: AWOL Mama Checking In

  1. You can do it! I believe in you!

    Just an idea on packing that has worked for me. I number the boxes and label with room I want them to end up in. That way when I’m unpacking I know that the lower numbered boxes hold things I could live without for awhile, whereas the higher numbered boxes were the things we needed the most so were packed last.

    Hang in there!

  2. You can do it! We will all stand around you like an army and hold you up and push you along. I am so proud of you! I wish I would’ve/could’ve finished school. So I will live through your success and triumphs!

  3. You will do it! And don’t rule out looking for a place to live in Suburban Maryland. You might find it more economical in Silver Spring or Takoma Park, MD than in NoVa. The commute for you would be no different. And Montgomery County has excellent schools.

  4. Oh, you will do it and you will ROCK it! It will be June before you know it and you will be looking back and wondering how it all happened but it will be over and you will be moving on. Much success and enjoyment for the journey over the next few months ….

  5. Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses as you maneuver through the hurdles of the next few months. You can do hard things.

    (Yeah, that reminder is for me, too. Ugh, I hate packing and moving. I love your idea of numbering boxes, Cynthia!)

    Keep on keepin’ on, Tracy!

  6. oh, wow. you can do this. i hope you watched conference – there were so many talks on trials and i thought of you (and myself) a lot as i listened. hang in there!! there are so many people praying for you.

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