Tapped Out

It would have been hard for today to suck more. It sucked so bad that I don’t even feel I’m tempting fate- if there’s more, I’m so far down, go ahead and knock me. At least the fall won’t hurt as bad this low.

It was one front after another— Health, kids, personal, school, academic, financial aid, banking, finals, parking tickets, power companies, bill paying, elementary school, principals, school teachers, misunderstandings, food, phones ringing, stress, stress and more stress. Blood. Turnip. Frustration. Tears.

Everyone wants a piece of me, and there’s just not enough of me left to go anywhere.

14 thoughts on “Tapped Out

  1. So sorry to hear this, but I know good things are coming. Your light shines bright, even when all seems dark.

  2. It sounds like Temple time is needed…not that you HAVE that kind of time…but still…..I’m praying for you and I know others are too!! You’ll make it through…keep holding on!!

  3. Love you, friend.

    People who say you’ll look back at this time and laugh don’t know what they’re talking about, but you will look back at it eventually (“endure to the end” and all that jazz) and realize what an astoundingly strong woman of virtue you are. (the Old Testament kind of virtue – the virtue that means look the devil directly in the eye and kick his a** strong)

    That’s a promise.

    • Ray. I usually have pretty good perspective on things, and I know I’ve just done what I’ve had to do. I don’t feel all that special most of the time- and seldom do I feel heroic. But what you just said…? Yeah. At this point, I do feel like I could look the devil in his eye and kick his ass. That’s a very strange realization.

      I’m still not laughing at all this, but I don’t think I’d trade the woman it’s turned me into for anything- I clearly needed some serious time in the crucible.

      Your observations bring peace to my heart.

      • These days, the devil would take one look at you and scurry back to his hole. He’s smart enough not to mess with you now!

        You are strong enough to do this – even if you come out a bit bruised – even in those moments when you are tapped out. One breath at a time…

        Ray’s observations often bring peace to my heart. 🙂

  4. They made me smile too. I’m sad I can’t come out for you now. I keep thinking that in 2 1/2 months I’ll only be 3 hours from you. 😀 Which means that if ever you need a mommy break, finals week your kids can come camp out with mine!!!! YAY!

    For now, breathe in breathe out. Out here we say wooooo ssaaaaaaa. Sometime it’s even fun to yell it.

    Love you!!!!

      • I’m all for that. Our move date I July 11/12. Kevin’s staying in GA to study for boards and I’ll be driving up with the kids on/around that date. EEEEE!!! Crazy excited for the next cpt in our lives. I’ve reached the point that if it’s not cooperating, it’s not going, kids included. hee hee. AND I refuse to do another garage sale because the last one just about killed me.

      • The ward has taken over my garage sale, mercifully. I just couldn’t possibly do it at this point. And yeah, I hear you- I’ve become brutal in what comes with and what stays. If it gives me a hard time- in any way- it’s gone.

  5. Wish I had more than empathy to share with you. My crucible has a different shape than yours, but it still has brought me to the edge lately. All I can say is that there is an end… someday… coming soon…

    Kick some butt, girl!

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