For those of you in the trenches with littles, where you still have to get up at night, still don’t get enough sleep, still are changing diapers, and trying to keep everything in the house from being ruined and broken every damn day…

I’ve had my kids tell me they hate me, take out their sorrow and grief on my body, and do every other typical thing, along with all the autism things that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. And yet today, when they are 16, 14 and 12, the world is different.

My 14 year-old son with autism tenderly checks in on me and makes sure I’ve taken my vitamins and fills my water bottle and brings me books. My 12 year-old packs her siblings lunches and cares for the dog and volunteers in the neighborhood. My 16 year-old drives me to appointments and takes me to lunch with money he earned himself.

Over lunch today (it’s a school holiday) we were talking about the upcoming prom and all that accompanies the occasion and he said to me, “Most people hope they can do a better job than their parents, but I think I’ll be doing great to do as good as you did.

I may have started crying in the diner.

So when you feel it doesn’t matter, and the poop and laundry and yogurt smashed into the carpet will never end, take heart. It does. And they will likely be amazing human beings when you’re on the other side.

A dear friend told me that there is a place in the Quran that teaches every negative thing you do is fleeting, but every positive thing you do returns you 1,000 blessings because of the power of love and kindness to multiply upon itself and change the world.

I dont know much, I do believe that that is True.